Does The Better Half Understand?

[Chris26]

Hey there,

I'm new around these parts, but I'm hoping to stick with Tim's (um...Mr. Ferriss'?!? ) outline to make some serious changes in my life.

I'm just wondering, if it isn't too intrusive, how everybody's boyfriend/husband/girlfriend/wife/etc. took to the idea of you adopting this type of lifestyle?

I have a great gal, and I've tried to summarize the book to her since she doesn't have a chance to read it, but I can rarely get past the title with her. "Oh, you'll only work four hours a week? Doesn't sounds very productive."

Anyway, is this the type of thing where I need to do my thing and then surprise her in a few months with the results? Or do we 4hww'ers need to get the family totally on board and supportive of us from the get-go?

Thanks.

[webgal]

I guess in my case I'm going to adapt Tim's credo. I don't want to travel nomadically like Tim. I want to travel more, however. I'd also like to have the time to volunteer more. And I want to take my kids more places. My kids are teens so they won't be home much longer.

So I may take several weeks during the summer. I don't know what my husband will do. He really loves his job and it affords him the opportunity to travel, too. So we'll see. I'm not there yet and he has been very supportive.

[jetpacklife]

My ex-girlfriend did not like the idea of my quitting my job at all! I broke up with her and finally quit my day job when I was making more with my "muse" than I was making with my "real" job.

[jonparker83]

Well my gf is totally with me on this one. She's not read the book but has listened to me go on about it for a while and understands the basic principle that a 9-5 office job is a waste of a lifetime.

We're off to Indonesia in April for 3 months to start our travels with a further 3 months doing the west coast of europe afterwards.

That's given us both a deadline and some healthy pressure to get ourselves 'automated'

If I was in your position I'd wait a while and show her some results as you suggested. Log your time so that you can say it took me x number of hours to make x dollars/pounds and compare that to 'regular' employment

Why not get her to find her target daily income, then once she realises how low this is (typically) you can then suggest more efficient ways of accomplishing that

Also it's apparent that at the moment she's basing your productivity on how much time you are spending working. Why not suggest how much better it would be if you could only work 4 hours a week and the possibly volunteer or do something that is genuinely useful with the time you have saved

Also if you tell us specifically which parts of the 4HWW mentality you value the most e.g. mobility, automation, less time in the office and what you woudl do with your new time, then maybe we could give you some more 'ammo'

Hope this helps

Jon

[kamakiri]

It really all depends on how successful you are. If you are only working 4 hours a week and can barely afford to live in Belize for example, then you might have a tough time.

One thing I really couldn't understand is how you could possibly fit the idea of the 4 hour work week into the same brain that uses the word gal, and how could she not have a chance to read? Even 5 minutes of reading a day before bed and she could have the book done in 3 weeks.

[Chris26]

Originally Posted by jonparker83

Why not get her to find her target daily income, then once she realises how low this is (typically) you can then suggest more efficient ways of accomplishing that

I like that idea. Kinda show here how it could apply to her, if she wanted it to.

Also if you tell us specifically which parts of the 4HWW mentality you value the most e.g. mobility, automation, less time in the office and what you woudl do with your new time, then maybe we could give you some more 'ammo'

I think the biggest/most appealing factor of this type of lifestyle is the general independence and available time it would open up. I have some plans to become involved in charity work in the New Year and I could use some more time/energy/resources to put towards that.

As it stands, there never seem to be enough hours in the day. Where they go...I have no idea.

[Chris26]

Originally Posted by kamakiri

If you are only working 4 hours a week and can barely afford to live in Belize for example...

Funny you say this. The buddy of mine (am I allowed to say "buddy"?) who turned me onto Tim Ferriss and the 4HWW is headed to Belize in December.

One thing I really couldn't understand is how you could possibly fit the idea of the 4 hour work week into the same brain that uses the word gal...

Um, okay then. My girlfriend...my woman...my special lady friend...the love of my life...the person I sometimes roll in the hay with...which phrase is most acceptable?

and how could she not have a chance to read? Even 5 minutes of reading a day before bed and she could have the book done in 3 weeks.

We can't put that on her, I take responsibility for not being able to explain it more clearly to her. You can't say "I want to follow this plan." She says "What plan?" And you toss a book at her "That plan."

I think I need to finish fleshing out my plan so she can be more confident that I know what I'm doing, and that it won't interfere or take away from what we have/how we live now.

[final_id]

I think it often boils down, to how much money you're making at the moment.

Quit your job, excited about your new muse, not turning a profit? Everyone thinks you're a bum.

Quit your job, excited about your new muse, making $1000 a year off of it, regardless of its promise for future success? Everyone STILL thinks you're a bum.

Quit your job a long time ago, got excited about that muse a long time ago, now you're making $6000 a month off of it? Everyone thinks you're cheating or a criminal.

Quit your job a long long long time ago, ran several muses into the ground, finally found one that was a cash cow, got lots and lots of money off of it, now you're earning over $100,000.oo per year? Everyone wants to know whether or not you own a house, have a wife, raise kids. If you don't, then they think you're a bum.

Gaining the approval of others is nearly always more about conformity than justice. I've personally been quite frustrated by the decline in "social opportunities" which my love life took, when I began living as I wish, with consistency and a core of decent adherence to legitimate values. If only I'd sold out, acted like I really ENJOYED filing for a living, smiled in a big ol' friendly way at the guy in the suspenders who says, "Yeah, you're going to umm yeah have to come in on yeah Saturday," and stuck with it as though it were "meaningful" and something I "enjoyed" doing, I'd probably be allowed to date hot-looking women. As it stands, only the undesirables are willing to be around me, mostly because I'm not visibly in an outward manner someone they can comfortably make a judgment about. "He doesn't HAVE A JOB. I don't know WHAT THAT MEANS."