Do you think being a business owner is lonely?

[B-rad]

For some reason I have been watching a bunch of videos talking about their muses on youtube...not tips and techniques, but just people talking about their lives as business owners or 4hwwers. One person brought up that being a business owner is lonely, and actually she broke into tears during that video because she stopped working with one of her partners. Another was talking about how the whole reason she started a home-based business is because she wanted to start or join a community of people who could live off-the-grid.

It's funny, but I remember way back I also just wanted to live off the grid and grow my own food, and basically live off the earth like a hippie. And there isn't anything wrong with that, except that it really isn't very practical if that is ALL you do and definitely limits your options as a human being.... :o So I kind of got interested in business to move towards living on my own terms. I don't mind living a low impact lifestyle, but I definitely would like to travel, use technology in different ways, and a just do a bunch of stuff that isn't quite possible when you think of the lifestyle required to live in a self-sustaining intentional community.

But, my reason for posting is that I do think you need to be part of a community in order to live fully well. Most employees have a built-in community of colleagues, but it is centered around something that is not really central to their values. They might take an interest in their work, but it isn't like they are trying to build dreams. A community of entrepreneurs could be a community like that. People get into business for different reasons, but I'm sure there are groups that gravitate towards certain values -- like autonomy, making positive changes in the world, exploration, and lifelong learning.

I myself am early in my entrepreneurial career, and am very much dependent on an 8-6 to keep afloat. But how about those of you who have been doing this for a while? Are you friends with other business owners / 4hwwers / self-employed people? Is it a proper "community" to anyone, or is it more like you just have some connections with those in similar situations?

[americanoracle]

social mobility is an art form, I know a lot of people get stuck where they don't belong by circumstance (remember that flick, goodwill hunting? That was a major theme) and are stuck before they figure it out.

I grew up in the off-grid hippy world and still have an affinity for it but my own perspective is it is a cop-out, and most of the people doing it struggle, want way more than they have and are more jaded than they'd have the world believe. They are not much different than the urban lower middle class wage slaves who hate their jobs. Generally more time, much less security or options. Exceptions always, of course, but that is my experience with that lifestyle.

My short answer though, if you are an outlier you are doomed in many regards. Doesn't matter if you're Stephen Hawking or Shakira, you are going to have social problems nobody else can relate to. Any unique path carries that problem in life.

Even shorter solution- there are 7 billion people in the world. Change the perpsective instilled in you during your tribal upbringing to look for sameness in people to accept or reject them as compatible, and look for differences you can learn and grow from. Nobody should be lonely on planet earth in 2011. It's f***ing absurd if you think about it.

cheers...

[outofbandii]

Hell, no. There are loads of things you can do - google Open+Coffee+YourLocation to find free networking meetings, check out Twitter and see if folks ever meet up for beers/dinner/drinks, all sorts. Go join a chess club or take dancing lessons, or travel more.. the possibilities are endless.

Since quitting my job and becoming a business owner I've met hundreds (thousands?) more people in the last 4 years than I would if I hadn't done so.

[liam75005]

A lonely entrepreneur most likely won't be successful... therefore join clubs, networks, as much as you can and as much as your time can allow.

Not only you won't feel lonely, but on the top of that it can create lots of unexpected and interesting opportunities.

[outofbandii]

I also recommend reading this post (http://fourhourworkweek.com/vBulletin/showpost.php?p=39209&postcount=1).

[TimWieneke]

It has been for me for the last couple years so I'm going back to school for another degree. I miss the higher academic environment and want to get some advanced degrees. Lots of tax benefits and subsidized funding options for international research as a student these days.

[foulmouth]

You just have to break out of your boundaries if you want to meet some people. Find a networking group that focuses on something that interests you in your community and start showing up. For me the business networking didn't work out too well but volunteering at the museum was a blast. I did some free graphic design for them and got to meet a lot of local artistic people. At this point for me making money isn't even a consideration anymore and living my life is the biggest focus.

[djp]

Yes, it is lonely for me.

I spent about 7 years of my life building up a business I could do from my laptop and investing most of the proceeds in financial assets. Now, things are pretty much automated. All of this really means that I have accomplished having a magical ATM card that will pump out $200/day anywhere in the world, forever. Ok, cool. Now what?

Most people live their lives for that carrot of more money. And they spend the majority of their time and mental energy with a group of coworkers working for their carrots. If you achieve financial independence with a solo internet business, then you are on a very unique and lonely path.

Of course, if you ask most people, they'd trade their job for that magic ATM card in a second. And I would not trade my situation for most. But it poses its own challenges. It also depends on your personality: if you're the type of person who can do such a thing, you are likely to be pretty independent anyway.

The world is wide open. I'm currently traveling around Europe. I'm now thinking about where I'd like to settle down for at least several months to build up some sort of life. I started doing Yoga, so that helps get me out and gives me a purpose. I'm also thinking of new entrepreneurial ideas, but I know that doesn't really solve the bigger problems of my existence.

[adam.sn]

... It's lonely at the top. Couldn't agree more.

I want to go away places and do things but all my friends work 9-5.

I guess you get used to it.

-Adam

[WhoIsRicardo]

I have a not so similar story but most of my friends are still in the whole "let's go clubbing, get drunk, pick up girls, smoke, etc etc" bullcrap from back in high school/college and I'm not. I might go from time to time but I dont enjoy it.

I'd rather have a nice dinner, some wine and just chat or go to a lounge and have a chilled time and not be annoyed by the damn loud music and tool fights.

Attending networking events has been great. You meet a lot of like-minded individuals that are into business, internet marketing, real estate, etc.

One I have used is MeetUp.Com

But the interesting thing is that mostly everyone is at least over 30. I'm 22 and always get called a baby blah blah lol but I dont mind. Even the "young enterpreneur" club I'm the youngest by at least 10 years.

So that's why I stick to online forums and blogs.

I have thought of starting a young entrepreneur mastermind group for YOUNG people. At least under 25.

[AlexMoen]

What did you start a business for? Make sure you keep that in mind when steering yourself down your entrepreneurial path, and make sure your decisions don't conflict with that end.

Traveling is the easiest and most effective way to put yourself out there. I personally just got back from living in Korea and China for 2 years, and made a boat load of lifelong friends, on top of picking up bits and pieces of culture and language and stuff. And, now that I'm back, I joined 3 basketball leagues and spend my days doing a couple hours of work, followed by the gym, training, and practicing/games 6 days a week. On my 7th day I go all out with friends and/or family.

You need to put yourself out there and join some group activities. Network. Join clubs. Check out meetup.com. Do something and make the effort.