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View Full Version : Is There REALLY A Void To Be Filled?


karlin
05-30-2007, 09:29 AM
For the last several years I have owned my own business and I have DEFINITELY had some tough times along the way including getting involved with scammers who cost me a ton of dough and as a result I haven't been able to fully enjoy my growing success much as the debt those initial mistakes cost me is still quite substantial but looking down the road once the debt is gone I like what I see.

I was always playing around the idea of outsourcing my fulfillment and phone but kept putting it off but Tim's book is serving as the kick in the a$$ I need to get myself going in that direction again. I CAN still answer my own phone and ship my own orders I just don't want to anymore.

Anywho - since my current business was established almost 3 years ago I pretty much have things down to a science (A science that only makes sense to me but a science nonetheless) and as a result I find myself with more and more free time and what do I do with that free time? Mainly sit on my a$$ and watch movies or TV or read and I'm fine with that.

Am I curing cancer or building homes for those left homeless by Katrina? No - BUT I am doing what I ENJOY and MAYBE, just maybe during one of my coach potato episodes I will catch something on the Travel Channel that will excite me and then I'll make some plans to travel somewhere I find exciting or exotic.

I used to feel like if I wasn't "doing something" active I wasn't doing anything. I would talk to friends and it seemed like they were filling their lives with activities they didn't much enjoy so they would feel like they were doing something or they had something to talk about. Just like Tim pointed out in the book about how people buy stuff they really don't need or want as a way of competing I've found people also compete by doing stuff they really don't want to do just because it sounds really cool to say they did it.

I used to fall into that trap and started to worry or wonder or feel bad that I'm a homebody and my idea of a good time is going to a local bar to hang out, have some good conversation and go home and watch some TV.

If you like watching John Stewart and Colbert and Lost or The Sopranos or Grey's Anatomy or whatever WATCH it and keep watching it. If you like reading Harry Potter or the latest self-help book or political blog or whatever KEEP DOING IT.

One of the points I got out of Tim's book is that so many people stay caught in the 9-5 rat race because that is what is expected of them and they've been conditioned to be in the race but I say we've also been conditioned to feel like when we have free time we should be filling it up with something MEANINGFUL - that to me is BS.

I got several phone calls before the Memorial Day Weekend asking me what I was doing and my friends were agog to hear: NOTHING in particular. WHY am I going to get into a car when gas is over $3.50 a gallon and sit in ridiculous traffic so I can get to my destination and relax? I can relax in my house for free, thankyouverymuch.

If I enjoy sitting on my a$$ instead of going kayaking that's my business as what you do with your free time is yours. You don't HAVE to go to Buenos Aires when you achieve the total outsourcing of your life that's what Tim chose to do with his.

I have a friend who used to text message me all the time: I'm Bored and it was always bizarre to me because there is so much good sh*t on TV, so many good movies to see and books to read and friends to talk to . . . I finally got my friend to stop texting me that he was bored with a simple phone call. I said: I'm never bored and usually when someone often feels bored it means that they themselves are boring.

Well, that's my diatribe and here's my suggestion: do you REALLY feel a void because it's actually there or because you're not doing anything insanely exciting with all your free time and feel as if you should be?

Some people are simply action oriented and some people are more cerebral. I often hear my friend's schedules and just get tired listening forget about actually doing it.

Vagabond
05-30-2007, 05:00 PM
well i think youre right in that theres no one way to "fill the void." theres really no one way to do anything.

you can be action oriented and cerebral, you can be lazy and dumb, lazy and cerebral, action oriented and dumb etc. I'm a big believer in that there is no black or white, only shades or grey in virtually every aspect of life. if being a homebody is what you want to do then do it. but it doesnt mean someone who is out doing "cool things" is doing it just to say they did it.

personally, ive always had an insatiable desire for travel. so if i was able to make a living online (which im currently working towards) and fund a little globe hopping and vagabonding, i would be the happiest person in the world. i may personally disagree with you when you say theres always something good on tv, and i personally have trouble sitting through a whole movie since im semi-ADD but that doesnt mean anything in regards to you or your preferences.

however, i would bet that the majority of people do feel a void in their life. most people arent satisfied with the 9-5 cubicle life and fantasize about how theyd prefer to spend their time, and theres usually a stark contrast between the two. whether its sitting around watching the Daily Show or doing the tango in Buenos Aires is totally a personal preference.

jetpacklife
05-30-2007, 06:27 PM
Well said. It is certainly true that everyone has their own things to enjoy. I'd have to say I'm probably somewhere in between the two extremes... I just don't know where.

I thought that I'd enjoy travelling more, but I think I mostly enjoyed the return trip and telling people about it. (and maybe tim does too? He wrote a book on it!) I recently spent a month in Europe travelling around and sightseeing... But, it not as enjoyable as I had hoped.

I also know that I don't enjoy doing nothing. The first 6 months after quitting my job I did pretty much just that... but I realized I was happier when I had more to do.

I know I don't want to spend 4 hours/day learning a new language or practicing dance moves... I'm probably a bit ADD too, and I wouldn't want to spend that much time on anything!

Vagabond
05-30-2007, 07:27 PM
jetpack- did you travel solo? i backpacked around europe for a couple months by myself and had a great time meeting people at hostels and whatnot but if I did that again i would love to bring someone to share the experiences with. this way you wouldnt have to wait to get home to share everything you saw.




Well said. It is certainly true that everyone has their own things to enjoy. I'd have to say I'm probably somewhere in between the two extremes... I just don't know where.

I thought that I'd enjoy travelling more, but I think I mostly enjoyed the return trip and telling people about it. (and maybe tim does too? He wrote a book on it!) I recently spent a month in Europe travelling around and sightseeing... But, it not as enjoyable as I had hoped.

I also know that I don't enjoy doing nothing. The first 6 months after quitting my job I did pretty much just that... but I realized I was happier when I had more to do.

I know I don't want to spend 4 hours/day learning a new language or practicing dance moves... I'm probably a bit ADD too, and I wouldn't want to spend that much time on anything!

jetpacklife
05-30-2007, 08:06 PM
well, part of the trip was with family and part of it was solo. I probably would have more fun with a more compatible travelmate... None of my friends around here are mobile. However, no offense, but I have a hard time believing I'd get along with someone I randomly met from the internet. I've looked around at places like bootsnall,but I just don't know.

ralvarez
05-30-2007, 09:33 PM
Hey, You are perfectly OK. Some people have to be constantly doing things, external things to try to fill a void, but the void is in themselves, if you don't have a void then there is no need to be doing a million things to avoid being bore because you won't be in any case. I can also spend days without doing anything and not get bored.
Rey