How Did You Ask?

[nikitakolata]

Thanks in advance for any advice or insight you can provide.

I have read 4HWW and I am really anxious to get started. I have read the book 3 times, actually, yet I still haven't worked up the nerve to ask my boss if I can work from home.

I am the Head of Compliance at a futures/trading company. I'm the entire compliance department and I have a high level of responsibility, but really don't have a ton to do most of the time. I am so bored that I'm losing my mind and honesty on the verge of quitting my job even though I have no other source of income lined up, just because I am unhappy. My boss and colleagues have no idea how unhappy I am.

I know working from home would make me immensely happier, if for no other reason than I could keep busy during the ton of down time I have. I am very passionate about decorating, real estate, etc. and I am always working on a project in my house. I really don't have much desire to travel, I simply want my time to be free so I can spend it painting, tiling, rewiring, plumbing, and generally decorating and beautifying my house. Someday I hope to flip houses as my primary source of income... really need to free my time first though.

So, that's the long way of saying that I am going insane sitting in this office. Yet, I am really nervous about asking if I can work from home. I am very worried my boss will say no because I have a unique position at the company and other employees really can't work from home and still be effective. So how do I ask? Do I have to do it in person? Can I write an email/letter first? Any advice is greatly appreciated. I don't really know how or why my working from home would benefit the company, except that if I don't work from home, it is very likely I won't be working here by the end of the year and I know for a fact that they could not find another employee with my background and experience for within $20,000 of what they are paying me. I am staying at this job because the income is enough and since I've been here since day 1 I have tailored everything to my own style and normally they are very flexible with me here. Otherwise my salary is in the bottom 10% for my title/responsibilities/industry.

Any help or ideas are greatly appreciated!

[nikitakolata]

In response to my own post, here is the email I am thinking about sending to my boss... any comments are greatly appreciated.

I have wanted to talk to you about working from home for awhile now. I love my job here at <company>, but I know I would love it even more with the added flexibility of regular telecommuting. I think a remote work arrangement has several of potential benefits for <company>:

• Eliminating the commute will make it easier for me to adjust to anything that comes up at <company>. I can start earlier, work later, etc. This is especially helpful in terms of the next few months when I am going to want to be in touch with London more frequently as we try and restructure our business. I can start working as soon as I get up at 6:00 instead of when I arrive at the office.

• With full internet access I can review and log our sales activity on twitter and other social media sites that are blocked in the office, which is one less thing that you will need to do and I can do my best to ensure that our regulators will not take issue with anything posted.

• Lower overhead costs for <company>.

• I can be more productive working in a quiet environment where I’m not distracted by listening to others. I do not have any pets or children that need my attention during the day.

• Less need to take full sick or personal days to accomplish tasks like doctor visits that only take an hour of time. I’ll be better able to work on days when I am not feeling the best since I will have a good setup for doing so.

If you will consider a remote work arrangement, I would love to try working from home 2 days a week for a trial period of 1 month. I would be happy to do the remote arrangement on any days that you select; however, Tuesdays and Thursdays seem like a logical choice since that means never being away for more than one day at a time. Of course, should you require me in the office at any time; I can come in on short notice and intend to be in the office everyday during any regulatory examinations.

Please let me know what you think and if you would like to discuss this in person. I know that this is not an arrangement that is feasible for everyone at <company> but I think my role here is unique and I don’t think telecommuting will have a negative impact on my performance and is likely to improve my efficiency and productivity.

[nikitakolata]

Well, to anyone curious, my boss immediately denied my request with the reasoning that the company is going through too many changes right now and he needs me in the office. Sucks for him that I'm very likely to never again be here in the very near future because I am definitely going to quit as soon as I can, regardless of the opportunity. I hate this job and industry, so any position in real estate will be a step up for me as far as matching with my long term goals and actual interests.

[jakediddy]

Helpful advice - never assume that you cannot be replaced by someone willing to be paid the same or less. They will find someone unless you are extremely lucky.

But, if you're not happy at your job then why work there? Don't turn the request into a threat, but explain that in order for you to continue providing your time and services, you'll need the flexibility of working from home at least once per week. Up the number of days away from the office as time progresses, perhaps you and your employer can agree on something in the middle of all-or-nothing.

Obviously this is easy for me to say - it's not my financial stability we're talking about here. But maybe the above will inspire you.

[jakediddy]

Another kind word of advice - this forum is unique and extremely helpful, but generally you won't get a response within 3 hours. I just felt bad that you had to continue on your own with the talk with your boss and wanted to warn you for future reference.

[johnnywolf]

Don't give up so soon. Do exactly what tim suggested in the book. Never ask straight out!!!!!!!!!!

You were supposed to work your way into it. Make it a three day thing...then 5 then weekly....

[MAdMoNKEY]

In a few weeks, take a sick day. But work from home that day, and make sure you get enough done (and make it known) to make an impression on your boss that you were more efficient at home than at work. Might make him think twice.

[nikitakolata]

In a few weeks, take a sick day. But work from home that day, and make sure you get enough done (and make it known) to make an impression on your boss that you were more efficient at home than at work. Might make him think twice.

Unfortunately, I have been there, done that. In fact, I am working from home today and got more done in an hour than I typically do in an entire day in the office. My boss simply doesn't trust anyone to work from home because most of the people he has working for him don't perform as expected regardless of where they're working from. It is extremely frustrating.

I had been trying to work up the nerve to ask my boss if I could work from home for months. I am disappointed that he wouldn't agree even to a trial of a couple weeks, especially when he himself is going to be on vacation for 2 weeks starting on Monday. He won't even know if I am in the office or not!

Now I feel like I am at a dead end. I hate my job, I hate this industry, and yet I am trapped. My husband and I foolishly bought a house that requires both of our incomes. I love our house, houses, home improvement, and decorating are my passions. They are what I wake up excited about everyday. But, at this point, I'd trade our house in a second if it meant I could stop working this stupid job. I have been wracking my brain trying to come up with a muse, or just something more bearable that I can do with myself, and I can't come up with a thing.

Ugh, I just don't know what to do. I knew all along that the reason I was so hesitant about asking to telecommute was because I had a good feeling my boss wouldn't go for it. Now that my fear has been confirmed I feel very edgy and desperate and I really just don't know where to go from here.'

Edited to add, my current job requires a specialized background and knowledge... I am underpaid for the position from everything I can find, but I was originally okay with that because the company sold me on how flexible they were. Apparently not. I have a real estate broker's license and put the house I love up for sale just to try and escape this nightmare, but the market is so bad I haven't gotten even one call to show the house. Nothing.

[officer_dibble]

Well, to anyone curious, my boss immediately denied my request with the reasoning that the company is going through too many changes right now and he needs me in the office. Sucks for him that I'm very likely to never again be here in the very near future because I am definitely going to quit as soon as I can, regardless of the opportunity. I hate this job and industry, so any position in real estate will be a step up for me as far as matching with my long term goals and actual interests.

Did you ask when the changes might be complete? Perhaps get a commitment to trial a day a week from home when the changes are completed? with him to set whatever performance targets he'd like to.

[Y.O.Morales]

Let me share some tips, since I managed to work from home most of the time:

1. It's true that you somehow jumped the gun with the whole approach. Like others have said, you were supposed to work your way into it. But remember what Tim have said in his blog: regret is past tense action.

2. You say that your boss and colleagues have no idea how unhappy you are? Then start showing it. Start convincing them, by way of demonstration, how being unhappy at the office is worse than telecommuting, in terms of production. Express your tiredness. Deliberately lower your productivity (but at a very minor scale; don't overdo it) or be less friendly to your colleagues. Talk with other people of authority about your problem. If you can, consult with a friendly doctor/psychologist and use this as backup material. But I have to overstate it: don't do all of this in a rush and don't exaggerate; otherwise you might get adverse effects.

3. I don't know the details of your company/tasks, but if you can, do the following. During your trial periods (which must be little by little), if you manage to produce more than what your boss expects, then save that extra work for later. Then, "deliver" that extra work "late in the night" or even on "one Saturday". The point here is to fake that you are actually giving the extra miles and that you are very interested in the company's success thanks that you are now telecommuting and more focused and happier. But warning: be careful that the boss doesn't get accustomed to you working extra hours.

4. Get the company to use Project Management services like Basecamp (http://basecamphq.com/). I will check later to see if there are other tools that I can recommend.

5. How about using Skype to connect to the office from home? The only downside of this is that you are still chained to your desk for as long as the shift would last (i.e. if you wanted to divide working time in short bursts, then this might be a hidrance).

The most important thing is not to give up. The worst you can do is regret what you have/haven't done. Think about present and future action and keep implementing ideas to reach your goal. If you have to repeat what you have tried over and over, then do it. Keep trying, for your happiness is at stake. Best luck. :D

(On a side note: I'm beginning to hate bosses who are opposed to telecommuting for no reasons besides ego and similar bullshit. Damn old business patterns!)

[nikitakolata]

Y.O.Morales - Thanks for your tips. I am going to try them, I guess I'm just not sure how. I haven't looked at the book in a couple months, but I thought that in the example the employee asked for a one month trial of working from home two days a week. So, that's what I asked for. I'm not completely new to working home; my boss has allowed it on probably 15 or so occassions in the past year and a half so I could be home for repair people or whatever. I feel I'm at least as productive on those days, or more so than I normally am.

I guess I do need to play up my unhappiness more. It's really no joke; I have recently seen a doctor and began taking anti-depressants. The events that triggered my decision to go were not directly related to my job, but the job sure doesn't help.

Here is my real problem... my title is Head of Compliance and I work for a company of 10 employees that is a subsidiary of a very large company with over 600 employees. My boss is the company CEO. He does not have a clue what my job is about, what my day to day tasks are, or anything of that nature. What he thinks is important from a compliance stand point is just way off the mark 90% of the time. I'm slowly getting him to understand, but the reality is that he's a sales guy and simply does not give a hoot. There is not a single task I do here in the office that I could not do from home. The company has a very sophisticated phone and VPN system so I could have the phone ringing and work on my computer from my house (or anywhere) just the same as though I was sitting right here. There is absolutely no difference whatsoever. My boss knows this.

My boss talked about our restructuring as a reason that telecommuting can't work right now. That will be over and done with by November 13th. So, I am going to try and talk to him again sometime around November 20th, I guess. Honestly though, I know the restructuring thing was just his excuse because it's not a valid reason, and being unrestricted on the time of day I work would help the process immensely since I could call our other offices during their normal hours much more easily.

I'm just frustrated now... and for me that's a very bad thing because I become spiteful. I've been looking for other jobs and I have a couple good leads. I'm so ticked that I'd like nothing more than to leave my boss high and dry in the middle of this restructuring that I am spearheading just to stick it to him. I probably won't get that chance, and I'm not sure if I'd do it anyway, but it sure is tempting!

[Y.O.Morales]

I've been looking for other jobs and I have a couple good leads. I'm so ticked that I'd like nothing more than to leave my boss high and dry in the middle of this restructuring that I am spearheading just to stick it to him. I probably won't get that chance, and I'm not sure if I'd do it anyway, but it sure is tempting!

If you never have the chance to convince him for telecommuting, then go ahead and seek other jobs and leads on the side. But be very wary that these new jobs are more flexible towards telecommuting or otherwise you are leaving a hell to get into another.
Also, it's good to always leave doors open (or at least half-close) because you will never know when, at least, a previous boss' reference will be needing when seeking new jobs and the like. I know it's tempting, but sh** the whole situation.

Remember: drop some baggage to move lighter in the road of life. :cool:

[ejdub]

@nikitakolata I was just searching around the forum for posts about people negotiating remote work arrangements, as I'm in a similar situation as you.

How are things going for you? I wanted to see how things turned out- Were you able to successfully negotiate a remote work arrangement with this job or a subsequent job?

[FrozenCanuck]

DO NOT do it by email ... my advice is to do this IN PERSON and use the "trial period" concept in the book. Tim lays this all out very clearly and if you just model what he teaches you really should have no questions. You are just scared of what your boss will say.

Remember to ask "That's NOT unreasonable, is it?" ...it's very hard for someone to label something "unreasonable".

JUST DO IT ... you are ALREADY going nuts. You are already living in hell.

[Carmen]

Nikita,

From what I'm reading you're in a really bad space at this point because you've gotten into a mindset that you hate your job, are crawling the walls to leave, and feel stuck. The danger is getting into such a headspace that you end up doing something rash that you might regret later. Believe me, I got into that exact space years ago while working in Japan. I secretly bought a ticket home, packed all my things and headed back to the states without even telling my Japanese boss what I was doing. I ended up regretting my actions and owing a bunch of tax money because I left with really bad timing - not to mention I hurt several people in the process. Looking back, I wish I had had the patience to really and honestly discuss my unhappiness with the people involved and give them a chance to make things better before burning bridges.

Have you had a really frank discussion with your boss about how unhappy you are and what you might do to work things out so that he doesn't lose a valuable (cheap) employee and so that you don't go insane? Have you talked with your husband about the kind of change you want in your life? There may be more options than are currently visible to you if you enlist the help of others. Also, how much savings do you have? If you sold everything or rented (what I am currently doing) could you afford a drastic lifestyle change immediately? It may not be so far away.:o I realize that our finances are probably very different - but I did do a blog a while back comparing our life in Brazil to that in the U.S. financially. I haven't written a follow up yet, but our current life in Mexico is even cheaper and we're bringing in more rent on the U.S. side. If you're curious you can see it at: http://www.nunomad.com/blog/what-does-it-cost-to-travel-the-world-numbers-from-our-first-2-months/