Copping out

[Bluefairie]

Haven't read the book yet - but I plan to.

Husband has.

Since beginning his readings in December he has:

- taken up with a girlfriend from his past over the internet
- started to plan an alternative life which includes:
leaving his wife and children
selling our family home and investing his part of the cash in his new projected, hassle-free life
taken out loans which i am not supposed to be aware of
is talking about quitting his job to move back to the States where there are very few jobs at the moment...thus another reason for his forcing our house into sale
and basically fully evolved into a greedy son of a bitch...

so i am not that pleased with what he's gotten out of the 4 hr work week so far...:eek:

but as i said, i am perhaps not being objective here. i'll be reading it.

[kamakiri]

Sounds like more of a relationship problem you are having. Counseling is probably a much better and more appropriate way of dealing with your personal problems than this forum.

[Bluefairie]

Totally right, kama. I've tried to initiate that.
He's on the "not answering the call" elimination chapter.

Sorry, I'm sure there are people who can read this book with a much healthier perspective but I have seen a direct cause-and-effect influence from the onset of this book's appearance in our library and it's scary.

I do have a right to voice my opinion on it, do I not?

This said, perhaps it is for the best. I can't live with someone so desperately selfish anyway... From out of the flames rises the phoenix.

[Marcie]

I am truly sorry for your situation. I am not in the business of speaking for Tim (the author) but I can assure the book is not about evolving "into a greedy son of a bitch" and he does not condone any type of such behavior in the book (or anywhere else that I am aware of).

That said, I have actually co-written a book abiut infidelity and why it happens. PM me and I will be happy to send you a copy. Although, it contains a couple pages out of 4HWW as they are pertinent to people on your side of the situtation, FYI.

My job is, however, to keep things on topic here. Thanks!

[FreedomFinder]

- taken up with a girlfriend from his past over the internet
- started to plan an alternative life which includes:
leaving his wife and children
selling our family home and investing his part of the cash in his new projected, hassle-free life
taken out loans which i am not supposed to be aware of
is talking about quitting his job to move back to the States where there are very few jobs at the moment...thus another reason for his forcing our house into sale
and basically fully evolved into a greedy son of a bitch...


Nice, the 4HWW has inspired him to:
- Get laid more.
- Not getting tied to a single location (Mobility is important).
- Given him the courage to take the necessary risks to live a successful, happy lifestyle.
- Ask for forgiveness, not permission. (Stops people from stopping you.)
- Opting-out of the wage-slave lifestyle.
- Developed a healthy desire for more green :D

I'm totally joking with you, I have no idea what's going on with your situation, but I highly doubt the Four Hour Workweek is the cause of your problems, and doubt even further that the 4HWW Forums are the solution. Good Luck anyways! :-)

[Bluefairie]

Thanks for you reply Marcie. Perhaps this was not the right forum to express what I feel needs to be expressed. While being quite liberal, i'm very p.c. about a few things and the lingo in the book has become my husband's new mantra. It's difficult when you thought you had it all in a marriage (dysfunctions aside) to be identified as one of the hinderances to happiness and hassle-free living, cut out, and left in the cold for that NEW life. Thanks for your reply, once again.

[Sven]

Some men just need an excuse, any excuse will do. Sounds like there is some back bone missing...

Sorry 'bout you situation, good luck!

[officer_dibble]

Actually I could see how the book could be interpreted by the OP's husband in this way. The focus is very much about the individual and their fulfilment - and the tone/style suggests it is very much a secret which Tim is sharing with you alone (and the other tens of thousands of people who've read it).

It's also easy to work out that on a practical level - the life he recommends simply isn't possible for everyone to have. A lot of the tips are about leveraging others to do the work for you - eg information gathering - so there are selfish elements. So perhaps there's only so much of the secret you want to share with others.

But there are also some great case studies (eg the family travelling the world, the chap wanting to be with his Chinese bride) that demonstrate it isn't about dumping all of your dependents/responsibilities and striding the Earth alone looking for adventure.

Good luck to OP I hope it works out for you.

[Stallion]

I can't live with someone so desperately selfish anyway.
Maybe he's just not happy? I wish more people were selfish when it comes to their happiness instead of going through their life like they owe someone else happiness. I can't speak for your husband, but maybe he just wants something that you don't want. Maybe he just thought he was trapped by his life and this was as good as it can get, but something in the book exposed him to a new world. He's the one behind the wheel of his sailing ship and he inevitably chooses where it goes.

If a book can break up your marriage, than I doubt you had much of a relationship to begin with.

[webgal]

Some people are selfish and interpret something to mean what they want it to mean. I'd PM Marcie about the book.

[Marcie]

Thanks for you reply Marcie. Perhaps this was not the right forum to express what I feel needs to be expressed. While being quite liberal, i'm very p.c. about a few things and the lingo in the book has become my husband's new mantra. It's difficult when you thought you had it all in a marriage (dysfunctions aside) to be identified as one of the hinderances to happiness and hassle-free living, cut out, and left in the cold for that NEW life. Thanks for your reply, once again.

No problem. Best of luck to you, this may be a blessing in disguise. Don't get caught up in what you cannot control, live your life...

[johnnywolf]

Bluefairie, *hug*

I hope everything works out for both you and your husband. Thanks for sharing with us.

[TimW]

Not to be the wet-blanket on this party, but there are 3 sides to every story like this: His, hers and the truth.

[David-Andrew]

Not to be the wet-blanket on this party, but there are 3 sides to every story like this: His, hers and the truth.

Exactly, but still I think he probably is an idiot...

[badhank]

He's the one behind the wheel of his sailing ship and he inevitably chooses where it goes

hey sell the house, buy a boat, sail around with your kids and husband, thats in the book too! Well i guess ppl see what they want to see, toss him a copy of catcher in the rye and gauge the response.
Those with chillin's and wife should have some sense of responsibility, easy for me to say having none of the above.
Sorry this turned into a sour situation, but you can imagine this this isnt something new, its something that normally festers quietly for years to express itself as a mental illness, but in this case its being released early in a "world shattering" display of selfishness.