So Here's My New Business

[lightHouse]

It's been 6 months running, and it's just a part of what I'm starting. I'm really excited about where this is headed, and I was wondering if I could get some critiques of my landing page and copy? Do note that the LP was created in a day so more iterations are definitely to come.

Here's the site:
http://www.optionsbootcamp.net/

Let me know what you think!

[mrhead]

Where are the pictures? People love having something pretty to look at.

[Gearheart_2000@yahoo.com]

I thought that pricing should be put on a separate page in order to isolate it as a test variable.

[lightHouse]

Both good suggestions. Since the site is new I'm working on iterations and split testing.

Along with adding pictures, I have a video that's going to go on the page explaining the product... that should workout well.

[MajorTom]

It's been 6 months running, and it's just a part of what I'm starting. I'm really excited about where this is headed, and I was wondering if I could get some critiques of my landing page and copy? Do note that the LP was created in a day so more iterations are definitely to come.

Here's the site:
http://www.optionsbootcamp.net/

Let me know what you think!

I agree with the others:

PICTURES! (www.sxc.hu) - Make sure you read and comply with the license agreement for EACH image. MOST are free to use. There is a search capability that should help you find what you need quickly. You have to register to use the site. It's safe. I've used it for years.

Also...

TESTIMONIALS - I would still be afraid your product would use jargon that's over my head -- or that it simply wouldn't work in the real world. Get feedback from people who have really used it. It would be best if these were people who have never traded in options before because they were afraid of them. This is what keeps most people from going into options. I'm one such person, but I'm not going to pay $35 for a video when I don't know whether it will really make a difference. Find some grandmother living on social security and get her on easy street using your video. Have her write a nice testimonial. Then I'll think maybe you're onto something.

That said... Raise your price. It's too low. $35 is just above the cost for a book -- which I can carry around with me and look at anywhere. Is there an Options for Dummies book? I bet there is. You need to offer substantially more value. How will the buyer know your product offers more value? Easy, the price will tell him or her that it does. I would go for $99. Your product had better deliver the goods though. (How much money does someone stand to make if your product works? It ought to be enough that $99 is chump change.)

Forgive the terse nature of this critique. It's strictly intended to be helpful, but I've had a glass of wine, and I'm pissed at my employer. (I've just read the book and not yet found my first muse.) Seriously... good luck with it. I hope you succeed. I hope I do too.

[jaywenk]

I have fairly significant experience with options both personally and as a pro money manger and also have put together a finance related muse. Here's what I think:

* Price is too low - other replies are right, one very average or even below average trade would make way more than the cost of the product.

* Show some example trades with charts that are possible with your methods. Pictures that are not related to good trades will be a waste of space, break up the text only with relevant, money making graphics or screenshots of proof.

* If you have a background that would make you believable, then tell who you are and why you're a person that should be teaching these techniques.

* Instead of this type of text: We will give you the confidence you need. I would opt for: We will give you the tools you need; and show you exactly how to use them to make money. This could be done in a number of places where the benefit is vague.

* For your bullet points - there is a technique Dan Kennedy teaches that you could apply: Identify a problem/desire, agitate it, then offer a solution. He refers to it as a 1, 2, 3 punch. It will give the bullets (which will be read by most) more umph.

* Maybe this is a pricing issue; or could be a value issue - but I wouldn't waste an hour of my time and/or $35 dollars if my "return on investment" is illustrated as being potentially 1%. If there is tremendous value, give tremendous confidence by dropping the 1% thing. I'd rather spend $500 and 2 hours if my potential is much, much higher than 1%.

* I'd do something different than the PayPal merchant account that has your name on the top. I don't know what the options (no pun intended) are for payment processing - but since your name is no where on the main page it might confuse some people. If you must do paypal, first take them to another page on your site that re-iterates their decision to improve their future, etc, etc, etc; then gives them a heads up when they click on the buy now button that they will be redirected to PayPal for secure payment processing and automated delivery of their product.

You may also want to give people the option to sign up for a mini-course or preview of the course via email. This would both help build your list and potentially increase your sales conversion per site visitor if the course preview is any good.

I'd also think about having more than a 1 hour video - since a lot of your competition are giving away many hours of free education in order to upsell into more expensive memberships or trading courses.

Good luck,

Jay

[FreedomFinder]

It's been 6 months running, and it's just a part of what I'm starting. I'm really excited about where this is headed, and I was wondering if I could get some critiques of my landing page and copy? Do note that the LP was created in a day so more iterations are definitely to come.

Here's the site:
http://www.optionsbootcamp.net/

Let me know what you think!

I agree that the price it too-low, especially if you're targeting big time investors. Also, if you don't consider yourself to be a professional Internet Marketer, I'd recommend just going balls-out and paying for an excellent firm to do the site for you... speaking of investing.

[Stallion]

Your first sales letter is going to be hardest. The more you write, and more importantly read, the better you get.

Take a look at fapturbo. here (http://www.fapturbo.com)

This is for forex, but at least related.

Read it. Read it from top to bottom. Find another similar product to yours and read it. Start reading them and you'll pick up on the important aspects of them.

[mert]

found a typo on your website:
thouroughly should be thoroughly

[xvx]

Way to short, you'll most likely get a very high bounce rate.

[ynewmedia]

How are you doing in terms of bringing income?

Have you look into PPC campaign?