Deeply frusterated in a retirement town

[needchangenow]

Hi there Guys!

I live in Naples Florida which is the retirement capital of the world. The average age here in somewhere in the 60's. My parents live here. The economy is almost all service sector. I started a cleaning business in 2001 and worked cleaning jobs 7 years before that. To be honest I'm sick of it and ready to move on. Sadly, there are no social groups around my interests or age in the area. People think I am exaggerating but I'm not. I had a group of 5 friends that I hung out with regular and they moved away in the past year because they were unable to find people close to our age and good paying jobs are scarce. What I love about the Muse idea is that it's completely transportable.

When I mentioned to my parents my desire to check out other parts of the country to build a new social life to replace the one that fell apart.

One idea is to sell the best sports supplements I found to be the very best. The connections and apparatus are ready - all that is needed now is the web content and internet advertizing - got help on both areas comming soon.

The other idea is an ebook on saving tips I got from a customer that survived the Great Depression after she lost her first job. It is both practical and humerous.

Other ideas entered my head but these ideas are what in my head right now.

The one problem is how to escape. I don't mind paying the mortgage on the condo as I go traveling the country to find a new home. My living expenses - minus savings, taxes, giving, and fun is $1600. I figure $5,000 a month should take care of the new life. The fact is how do I escape. Last time I traveled, the family had a cow. No I am not mentally or physically disabled - just come from a family of control freaks. My sister left and the family begs for her to come home even though she's married and has kids. When I went to Disney - a mere 4 hours drive away, Mom called every hour on the hour and my friends couldn't stand it anymore.

I am both scared that this Muse won't work because I desperately want to be free from my clingy needy family that argues constantly and also how to find a new system of support in a strange place, make freinds, and have some adventure and fun. I desperately want the life Tim writes about and to be honest I think it's doable on $5,000 a year. I just need a working Muse and an escape plan to put into action when my parents return north until next November. I am just frustrated that the life I want and the place I live are so far apart - I found a few posabilities and I am eager to spread my wings. How do I keep a clingy paranoid family at bay and how do I make a Muse work?

Call this being desperate for a change. When you are 27 in a town filled with retirees, brothers in their 40's and 50's, parents in they 80's, you are not the norm. I love my family but if I am to have friends and eventually find the right girl - I gotta look outside my area, have my own space (yes - I own my own condo) to not have them interfere.

Sorry - just the frustration mounted when my fifth friend in 9 months announced he was moving away. And I work constantly to make $1300 a month - I gotta put an end to this unsatisfying life.

[sub8hr]

Don't count on starting a muse to liberate you. If you really just want to get out, take a job somewhere else. If you really, really want to get out there are numerous programs to go teach English in Asia. A muse can take a long time to get off the ground if it ever does, you're better off making the changes to your life that you can now rather than pinning your hopes on it.

[Sven]

Your freedom is not about the muse, it is about cutting the chord. If you realy want to do that, you need to make a seperate plan from what you want to do for money.

From reading your post I think it should be something like this:

Leave without telling everyone about your plans.
Cut the phone and email, replace them with new ones
Have a "document" ready to give them explaining you love them but had to get away and how you will get in contact with them.
Only call them without caller ID.

Now this all seems very harsh but it seems that the way your parents try to keep control is about their own fear. It is fine for them to be affraid of the unknown but it should never become yours.

Good luck!

[mattison]

I know how you feel. I'm 27 and have a business that makes me feel stuck in a retirement area as well. I am married and we have a baby though. But finding friends can be hard. We plan on moving in the next year but i still have my house here and my business. Just make the plan and don't stop until you do it. If you fail try again. I know that my muse is taking awhile to create but it's going to happen. I'm almost done and things are coming along nicely. Now i started this first one many months ago and finally the planning and the site are almost done. I also am starting a few others as well. Just stay postive about things and don't give up. These things take time.

The whole parent thing i'm staying away of commenting. Good luck my friend.

[adios pantalones]

More than a muse, you really need to cut the apron strings. Split! Like yesterday!

Rent the condo out, list it with a broker and make a vacation rental out of it.

If you clean for a living and you're good, you can start a service

a n y w h e r e !

Start enjoying your new life, get out from under your oppressive family first and the muse will probably pop right up for you.

Get happy first

[Darren]

Wow. Naples seems like a great place. We have vacationed there and at Marco Island. We did notice that the nightlife is a little slow after 9pm. There are a lot of people wanting to go to Naples. However, the Ft. Meyers/Cape Coral area is a lot bigger, you should be able to make friends there.

We also know that it is pretty pricey in Naples. There is a lot of money down there. There has to be a way to make money down there from all the retirees.

I know you are looking to escape more than just a job. You do need to get away from the smothering family.

You say you have a cleaning business and you only make $1300 per month...yet your living expenses are $1600? How can you afford to live there? I live in Indiana and I couldn't make it on that even as a single guy.

Anyway, since you are in the age bracket. You may want to try couchsurfing.com to travel by requesting peopled couches. You may even find a way to clean for trade of food and money while your muse takes flight. That way you could travel and meets tons of new friends, networking, & fun...and get a feel for where you would want to live. Since you would be mobile, you could run things from the road.

[J C McGuire]

Hey, how's it goin'. I just wanted to say a few things that I believe may be something that you can think about.

First, the family issue. I know what it's like to have to have an overprotecting mother/father (mother mainly). I know she cried when I left the house to go to college...despite the fact that the college was only 45 minutes away :) And I know that when I call her up for no reason other than just to talk, it can be the highlight of her day. Now, I don't know about you, but if I read your post right, you're the youngest child, like me. I think parents take the last child leaving the hardest....it must have something to do with the fact that when the youngest moves out, there's not going to be another child inside the house anymore. And that's really what you are to her, her child. It may feel weird, like wondering why she doesn't treat you like an adult, it's because she doesn't view you as an adult....and probably won't until you head out on your own and start living your life the way you want to live it. And she will deal with in her own way. But please, just don't cut off ties with your family. I know how you may feel right now, but I swear it'll be much worse if you try to cut them off.

Whew, now that that moment is out of the way...

I would like to point something out. You run a business........YOU RUN A BUSINESS!! Congratulations! You're doing pretty well for yourself. I would also like to point out that you obviously know what you're doing if you have been in the cleaning "sector" for ~15 years. Why not turn your cleaning business into a muse? I know, I know, it's a service business.....so what? Look at your business and figure out how to: 1) Eliminate and then 2) Automate. You haven't done this yet, I can tell by what you said at the end of your post, "I work constantly". So there you go, if I were you, that's where I would start. It may work out, it may not...who cares?! You will learn boat loads from actually trying these techniques out on a real business and it will better prepare you for doing another muse.

BTW, you have given thought about creating a cleaning how-to video/e-book right? You must have lots of general knowledge and probably plenty of secrets that could make a very tempting product.

BTW BTW, a few people from Naple around your age looking to hangout: http://fortmyers.craigslist.org/search/stp/?query=w4m

[xvx]

Finding a muse is the hardest part, then when you find it you'll often find it's already been done and your back to square one. I just found, indeed a second ago, my patent from my doctoral research has had a load of things filed against it after international searches. Yet the UK searches it sailed through 2 years ago. Note this isn't my 4hrw thing, my profession and main income source.

Find out what is selling already. Then copy and improve it.

[camdengirl]

Being 27 in Retirment City must be fairly frustrating - but I am willing to bet there are lots of other retirees who would love to do a "house swap" with you for 6 months to see if they like living in Retirement City before tying up their life savings in a property there - they might even live somewhere really exciting.

Your parents sound a little... odd. But just like training all your annoying co-workers in 4HWW, you need to train your parents that your time is precious. I have now finally broken my mum's habit of calling mid-morning for help on her computer. (Sent her on computer course and told her that I couldn't speak to her immediately but she could either send email/text and I'd get back to her later - consequently she bugs other people instead! I love my mum deeply but telling her for the 700th time how to add an email attachment is not a good use of my time!)

Can you automate/outsource some of your existing business so you have more time to do other things? Upping sticks and moving halfway across the country without a plan is a little extreme, yes?

Hope it works out!

[needchangenow]

Don't count on starting a muse to liberate you. If you really just want to get out, take a job somewhere else. If you really, really want to get out there are numerous programs to go teach English in Asia. A muse can take a long time to get off the ground if it ever does, you're better off making the changes to your life that you can now rather than pinning your hopes on it.



I know what you mean by not relying on the Muse to liberate me. I found some books in the library that have all sorts of ideas to work within the country as well as without through internships and volunteer work. One was a Ministry in the National Parks. Imagine a service in the midst of the Grand Caynon praising God's wonder.

I do have a concern on how to pay for the mortgage while I'm away. I am fortunate in terms of my expenses are $1500 a month and $800 of that is the mortgage, condo dues, property tax, and insurance.

I'll give your advice some thought. Appreciate it.

[needchangenow]

Your freedom is not about the muse, it is about cutting the chord. If you realy want to do that, you need to make a seperate plan from what you want to do for money.

From reading your post I think it should be something like this:

Leave without telling everyone about your plans.
Cut the phone and email, replace them with new ones
Have a "document" ready to give them explaining you love them but had to get away and how you will get in contact with them.
Only call them without caller ID.

Now this all seems very harsh but it seems that the way your parents try to keep control is about their own fear. It is fine for them to be affraid of the unknown but it should never become yours.

Good luck!

Sven

Thanks for the insight and the advice. I know what you mean by controlling parents and family members but since there is such a big age gap, I'm sure it's more concern than anything else. I sat down with my parents and calmly explained to them how the controlling behavior (I didn't call it that) was driving me nuts. I told them I knew they and the rest of the family loved me but I also need them to have faith in me as well. To give me a chance.

In recent weeks, things have settled down and I am beginning to structure a new life for myself where I can have plenty of excitement - Muse or No Muse. Miami and Fort Lauderdale are very exciting cities located only 100 miles away and almost no traffic between me and them. Same with Orlando being 3 hours way - a hot spot for singles at the moment.

The chord is being cut and I am taking control at least for the moment. Hope this holds and I am starting to feel better.

Thanks for your kind words of advice. It was nice to have an ear to listen.

[needchangenow]

I know how you feel. I'm 27 and have a business that makes me feel stuck in a retirement area as well. I am married and we have a baby though. But finding friends can be hard. We plan on moving in the next year but i still have my house here and my business. Just make the plan and don't stop until you do it. If you fail try again. I know that my muse is taking awhile to create but it's going to happen. I'm almost done and things are coming along nicely. Now i started this first one many months ago and finally the planning and the site are almost done. I also am starting a few others as well. Just stay postive about things and don't give up. These things take time.

The whole parent thing i'm staying away of commenting. Good luck my friend.

Hey Mattison,

Thanks for the good luck and the encouragement. I'm still working on the Muse and also on another plan to help pay for the bills and the dreams until the Muse takes off - God willing. I did read on the site - not sure where - that only 1% of the muses make $500 or more. I figure a Muse does not have a blog or a drastic change in content. With a blog (like the one on this site) and changes and additions to content (this site too), it will bring back traffic to build repeat business. That is the advice I got from someone who does internet marketing for a living. Also we are not looking for huge markets, only dedicated markets that we wish to fulfill. With Godspeed, I know we can make it. Even if we don't, we know we tried. It is better to try and fail and do nothing and succeed. I pray that your muse is a big success and you have a lot of fun with it and get the liberty you want. To me the biggest thing is the mobility the muse provides. Keep in touch

[needchangenow]

More than a muse, you really need to cut the apron strings. Split! Like yesterday!

Rent the condo out, list it with a broker and make a vacation rental out of it.

If you clean for a living and you're good, you can start a service

a n y w h e r e !

Start enjoying your new life, get out from under your oppressive family first and the muse will probably pop right up for you.

Get happy first

adios pantalones

The family is leaving inside of a month and I am starting to create a new life in the Miami/Fort Lauderdale area. God some nice friends but unfortunately don't see them that often but they were there for my beach baptism. Just have to put more of an effort to build up a social life so I can feel happy. Very social and extroverted.

I did have a talk with my parents and siblings and the apron strings have been cut and I am starting to get the respect I deserve.

As far as where I want to live, I am exploring the posabilities and looking into traveling a bit to see where I feel alive.

Thanks for letting me know that I'm not as trapped as I feared. At times when you are overwhelmed, you don't see it. Now I see that the world is mine to explore and limited only by my imagination.

Thank you my friend.