Turning my website for a purple cow in to a purple cow

[Sven]

I bought Seth Godin's "Purple cow" last saturday and was pleasantly surprised to learn that I may already have created a purple cow with my first self steering system for sailboats.
And in the design of the website there is more purple (well orange, but that's actually purple too) But I realised that the writing of the website was way too bland to be purple. Or orange for that matter.

So I decided to start rewriting the copy for the site.

I'll invite you to scrutinze my website in a minute but before you do, please look at these main competitors so you have some reference:
www.windpilot.com a very well respected German company and my main competitor and
www.selfsteer.com an American company, probably the biggest supplier in the world.

And then for some Kamakiri level of criticisme, here is my own:
www.mistervee.com

[sub8hr]

Haven't read Purple Cow, but here are a couple thoughts on the copy. After looking at the graphic and then the caption, you're not really sure what the site is about. It seems like the site might be about sailing, but then you're telling me in big bold the site is about drinking coffee. Is this some kind of coffee for sailors? If I wasn't critiquing the site, I probably would have left in confusion before I could figure out that the goal of the site is selling a self-steering sailing system.

I get that you're trying to be unique and creative. But let's face it, the site is not about drinking coffee, it's about selling a self steering sailing system. Staying in the coffee theme, maybe try a headline like this:

"Have you ever wished you could free yourself from the helm and just enjoy a relaxing cup of coffee on the deck?"

[kamakiri]

Scary. I borrowed Purple Cow from the library last weekend... We will need to compare notes

[TimW]

I read the purple cow about 3 months ago.

Slackers.

[blackhatontherocks]

Sub8hr nailed it with his comment about the site not telling the visitor what it's about.

If you'd want to do something reaaaally fancy (i.e. something dead simple that none of your aforementioned competitors does), ad a small audio player to the side, and record a thirty second audio intro with classic "sound of the ocean" and surf/waves-crushing in the background, some seagull-sounds and maybe even a distant "boat-horn"-like sample - you get the idea - with a text roughly resembling the following (rather slow spoken).

Hi - Short Self Intro & Welcome - *or not, really, doesn't matter that much*,

I'd like to show you in just about 30 seconds what a self steering system on can do for you. Now close your eyes for a moment - short break, 1 sec. max - and imagine you're on your boat and out in the ocean ... your enjoying the warm sunlight just breaking through behind some cloads while having an ice-cold soda on the (upper deck, front deck, in the yacuzzi in the rear - whatever), chatting/dancing/kissing (or whatever) with your (spouse, gf, etc.). *one general line ramping things up and emphasising emotionally on the feelings this convey, and maybe adding some chores you don't have to waste your time on anymore once you've bought the damn thing etc. pp. for a good contrast).
*Ramp up with* Now if that sounded in Any way appaling to you, I invite you to keep/start/do some reading (on our) site and let me show you what our top-rated/high-quality/custom-fit/purple/yougettheidea self-steering systems can do for you. Outro (I'm Frank Enstein, and from all of us here at *mycompanynamerockssomuchI'veforgottenit*, have a pleasant stay on domain.com - actually scratch that last bit, I've been watching too much bob ross lately ;)).

Aside from that, enter the conversation in the prospects mind a little more, which goes as easily as "Have you ever wondered what having a self-steering mechanism on your boat would be like?" and then starting in your stuff on cofe drinking and love making and so on. Of course, don't use the story *twice* if you take up the idea on audio.

[sub8hr]

Even better than an audio, replace the graphic with a video of you on the deck chilling with some coffee while your boat sails itself.

[Sven]

Well guys, have been playing around a bit.

The audio with sea-sounds, windpilot does that and I absolutely hate it! In fact Any website that has this kind of intrusive audio makes me click and leave immediately. Maybe it is just me that responds this way but no audio by itself.

I realy like the idea of the video that show very relaxed sailing though! I'll shoot one comming season. I'll ask my girlfriend to be in it too, that makes it very apealing to:

Male Sailors
Female sailors
Couples

Thanks for the input!

p.s. If there had been a Dutch translation of the purple cow 4 months ago I would have bought it then. Now who's the slacker? Well that's not true, just trying to avoid being a slacker. : )