Filling the Void

[jetpacklife]

Now that I'm working only a few hours a week, I have a real hard time filling the void.

I used to spend lots of time with people my age, laughing and goofing off, and generally having a pretty good time. It was called work.

Now that I'm on my own, I had filled in my time with more work, and more busy work. I'm trying to get rid of the busy work and replace it with a "real life" somehow. The problem is, I can't find people to hang out with (they are all at work all day). And, when my friends do hang out, it's pretty limited to drinking and complaining about work.

I'd like to travel some, but I'd rather not do it alone, and I don't want to travel all the time.

What should I do to fill my time? I almost feel like getting a job to hang out with people again, but, that just doesn't seem right.

[ffeingol]

I'm pretty sure it was mentioned in the book but is their some cause, charity etc. that you feel strongly about? Donate some time. It could be something as simple as stopping at your local library and see if they need help putting books back on the shelves.

[wu-wei]

what about classes?

acts of creation?

[joshua]

I'm having some similar problems myself. The social aspect of "work" was a big redeeming quality. I suppose that post-college, most people generally find their peer group with the people who they work with, or at least people who have similar work schedules. I'm new to online networking, but I would think/ hope, that others in, or wanting to join this lifestyle could find others with whom to socialize. If there isn't one, we should figure out an online community for the NR aimed at finding people with similar interests, schedules and resources.

[jetpacklife]

Well, another problem for me is that I moved, so, I can't even see my old work friends out of work. I moved to a more rural area. Much easier to go hiking and kayaking, but not so many people.

Anyway, I've been trying to think of a "job" that I would like, where I could meet people and socialize. Pay, of course, is not important. And, I'm sure I couldn't go back to any 9-5 job, so that limits choices even more.

There aren't any good volunteer programs (retirement homes are about the only places).

[steve0617]

I work from home trading futures. It's an amazing way to make money and the freedom is unlimited.

But now that I've been out of corporate America for a few years now, the initial 'WOO-HOO I'M FREE!' is out of me and now, quite frankly, I miss the water cooler talk.

I don't miss the work I used to do AT ALL, but I do miss the social screw around stuff. And I've been at a loss for a quite a bit now to replicate it or provide some other venue.

Maybe I just need to stop trying and just start doing stuff and the interaction will present itself.

[searstower]

I knew a bunch of homeschooled kids when I was growing up that had the same issue.

They needed to find some socialization somehow. Most of them took up sports or joined clubs of some kind. They found that once they started doing something they enjoyed, they were able to make friends easily. Here are some ideas...

-Show up at your local recreation center/activity park and ask if you can join in with a team
-continue your education with local courses, whether it's at the community college or library,
-check out craigslist.com for plutonic relationships or meetup.com for local groups in your area

Rebecca

[read]

I'm still definitely in the dreaming stage about how I would fill my time if I had some to spare. Here are some of my ideas. Maybe they'll help?

-Martial arts class or another physical activity
-Book clubs
-If there's a university in your area, they often have lots of (poorly-attended) lectures. You can see movies, listen to artist talks, learn about globalization, etc. Afterwards, there's usually a Q&A and socialization.
-Knitting groups (okay, I know that's not for everyone, but still--)
-Nature Hikes
-Art classes
-Volunteer as a big brother/big sister. Mentoring programs are often very short on adult volunteers.

[rb30]

What did you do in your spare time when you were a kid? Before you had to start working?

[Sabine]

I highly recommend meetup.com, as Rebecca mentioned. I recently moved to a new city and have made tons of new friends with similar interests through that site. You can find a group for nearly every interest imaginable. If there's not a group in your area that meets during the day, maybe you could start one up. Good luck, and enjoy your time away from work! I hope I'll be at your point sometime soon.

[jetpacklife]

Like I said, I sorta live in the middle of nowhere. Non of the online meeting things have anything going on. It's like people around here don't even use computers.

read: I've tried most of your ideas.
Most of the club / classes stuff meet too infrequently to really get to know people.
I can't find any book clubs.
Universities are out for the summer mostly, but, yet, have boring lectures during the year.
Art classes around here are mostly old ladies.
I sorta already have a little brother to deal with, but, the doesn't really help.

I really believe that my easiest option is to move to a city. But, I'd rather not.

[read]

Oh, small town life. That does make it more challenging. I grew up in a town without a stop light, and I have to say, I was lucky that I'm an introvert. It's rough.

Still, there has to be something wonderful and exciting....

Gosh. I can't think of anything social, while people are at work, other than shopping -- and well, that's sort of empty, isn't it?

I guess I have to echo what someone asked earlier. What did you like to do as a kid? Maybe that will give us some ideas to help you out--

[captaink]

Shouldn't the 4 hour work week enable you to move out of that situation?

Why do you live where you live?
What keeps you from being mobile?
What keeps you from traveling?
What keeps you from spending your days in one of the more exciting, yet less expensive towns around the world?

It seems you are missing the point of the exercise, which is freedom to do what you want, and to go where you want.

captaink

[rookie]

Have you ever heard of the St. Vincent de Paul Society? - help the poor. Or contact your school district office and volunteer for a mentoring program. Who better to mentor our youth but someone who has achieved what others only dream about. Check with the local library and volunteer to teach an adult to read - you will be surprised to find out who you will meet. Start a non=profit organization to raise money for a specific cause or to promote art or music to bring culture and learning to your community. Think outside the box that's how you got where you are so you should be good at it. As far as TV - except for a few programs it is the Void!

[KJCB]

Hi! I've been a home-based consultant for years, and I've learned to get my much-needed human interaction by calling friends and old colleagues on the phone. The water cooler clan loves another diversion, and a quick 20-30 minute "hello" from you is a nice break for you both. If you have a lot of buddies from your old life, you don't feel like you're bugging anyone specifically, since you "share the love" among them.

I know it doesn't sound like much, but you might be surprised how much just having one call of this sort per day will help you feel less isolated. Good luck!

[jetpacklife]

Well, I'm not much of a phone person, and, I'm not anywhere close to my old friends. (I've moved to a new town)

I've looked at all the resonable volunteering programs around me, and nothing is very meaningful or worthwhile for me. I've thought about starting a non profit, but generally my
ideas are around the same as my business ideas (websites) and would put me in the same place.

I really do appreciate these ideas everyone, and I am re-trying some of them. I'm sure this is the same sort of thing that retired old folks go through, but, I don't have a community of old folks to hang out with, or a lifetime of aquantances to talk with.

I'm planning to do a trip to the west coast next month (I'm in the north east). Maybe CA, OR and/or WA. I have an old friend in Portland to see... Are there any other travel places people here would recommend for me?

[searstower]

If you end up in Seattle, PM me and we'll have lunch!

I grew up in a town with less than 2,000 people and purposefully moved to Seattle after high school so that I could get a more cosmopolitan experience.

It's nice because Seattle is one of the cleanest, friendliest cities I've ever been to, and each neighborhood has it's own small-town feel.

Rebecca

[Talon]

Suggest that if you are in Seattle and deal with computers you try to volunteer for Microsoft.
1) Similar background i.e. people may have projects computer based
2) Networking with people of similar background
3) Wonderful way to get in with a group of people that normally only hangout with themselves.
Otherwise
Peace Corps has several options to help those that are serving overseas. Example fund rising for wells, or if you have a child writing a letter to start a pen pal cultural exchange, or writing your congressman/woman for help with funding. http://www.peacecorps.gov/index.cfm?shell=meet
Also if you are trying to retire Peace Corps will allow you a chance to see what overseas is like, teach you a language, and provide time to think with some people that dream

Otherwise
www.idealist.org
www.networkforgood.org
www.volunteermatch.org/results/
Just some other places to help here

:cool:

[Talon]

Oh, small town life. That does make it more challenging. I grew up in a town without a stop light, and I have to say, I was lucky that I'm an introvert. It's rough.

Still, there has to be something wonderful and exciting....

Gosh. I can't think of anything social, while people are at work, other than shopping -- and well, that's sort of empty, isn't it?

I guess I have to echo what someone asked earlier. What did you like to do as a kid? Maybe that will give us some ideas to help you out--

I to grew up in a similar town. Thus I moved. The challenge is to find friends with each move. I am friendly thus I have friends in North Dakota, Bolivia, Ohio, Washington, Montana, California, and Florida just moving around. What I find the challenge to be is time and freedom to use that time. Thus I am volunteering, starting a new business, working on an business plan finished in April accomplished the purchasing just now have to figure out the finances 12 properties within 5 months, started towrite a book that is half way funny and sad.
Thus life is what you make of it.
:cool: