What Do You Think Of My First Page?

[Vacman]

Hey everyone,

Just looking for some honest feedback on the first page of this new website I have going.

Rip it apart!

Or... maybe give me a few compliments :)

Would you sign up? Or would you not?

And what are your reasons for your choice?

Here's the website (Unlinkified) You'll have to type it into your browser.

www. InsiderDietSecrets .com

Thanks for your help!
-Sean

[webgal]

I have to tell you this is one super duper, competitive market. It will be very tough to break into and the ppc ads won't be cheap.

[mandasol]

Just looking for some honest feedback on the first page of this new website I have going.

Rip it apart!
-Sean

You're tag line doesn't say anything that draws people in or creates more interest. Your bullet points don't do much either.

Multi-media should be used to help push the sale. Showing that you are a real person and that you have a facination with your dog doesn't do anything to promote your product. If you showed before and after video of your weight loss, then that would make more of an impact.

I thought you were going to share a compeling story about your weight loss, but then you spend more time discussing your dog than your weight loss secrets. I thought that you were offering weight loss secrets for pets. I had to read your entire page again to make sure this wasn't about pets. It's not about weight loss for pets, right?

People want a magic pill (weight loss pills) or a easily identified brand with a simple hook (Atkins diet:low carbs). Your sales material has "common sense" tips written all over them. When I read them I think, yeah yeah, I know, I know, eat right and excercise. Go with that mentality and Prove Me Wrong in one line -- there is your new tag line.

Create a compeling story about your struggles with weight. All the different products and systems you've tried and the results. Discuss how you discovered your secret, and the changes it made to you. Show Pictures! Create a hook for your system, that people can cling on to...this is the diet where you (what?).

[Marcie]

I have to tell you this is one super duper, competitive market. It will be very tough to break into and the ppc ads won't be cheap.

^ That's true, but you've got a great domain name! You might be able to get some good relevance scores because of that. I think asking for my email address right at the top is a little invasive, but with a lot of good content and maybe some freebies coupled with a lot of "free" ways to advertise (youtube, etc.) it could work...I have a "health" blog that is getting a decent amount of natural search hits from really niche topics (like people looking for info on DanActive and Activia)...

[Paranalysis]

I'll be honest - I think it's awful.

There's nothing there to convince me you have a clue about the industry. Who are you? What have you done? You claim to have lost weight and helped others - but you need to back this up with photos & testimonials.

The dog is just a distraction from your message. You can show that you're a real person much better with your own clear before and after photos, preferably with the same lighting & location, same pose, same clothes.

There's really nothing there which would make me want to look further. I suggest you re-read the section in the book on becoming an expert.

On the upside, Marcie is spot on - great domain name. :)

[Vacman]

Thanks for the honest feedback everyone,

To be clear, there's nothing for "sale" on this page specifically.

Just the ability to get all the free things mentioned on the front page.

I'm not really trying to sell my experience.

Just trying to create curiosity and prove I'm real.