How to Become a Model Photographer in Brazil

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Photo: Jeremiah Thompson

Before hiring one of my assistants, Charlie, I asked him where he wanted to be in 6 and 12 months.

I made him define what he wanted to have and what he wanted to do in both timeframes. At the top of the list was a mini-retirement to Thailand or South America.

Done and done.

Charlie just returned three weeks ago from Buenos Aires. It was there he developed a rather keen interest in Brazilian girls, who were visiting Argentina as tourists. Two weeks ago at around 2am, while preparing the new book launch at my house, he somehow accidentally (riiiiight) got stuck in a Flickr slideshow of Brazilian models.

The photos belonged to someone named Jeremiah Thompson.

Digging a little deeper, it turned out that Jeremiah had an incredible story. Two years ago, he decided he wanted to become a professional photographer of Brazilian bikini models. That, and he wanted to get married. Despite the fact that he was from Montana and had no training, he made both happen in record time.

This is his story…

An Interview with Jeremiah Thompson

What’s your background?

I was born in Missoula, Montana, a small college town in the heart of the Rocky Mountains. My Dad was a colonel in the Army so I grew up all over the place, including a couple of stints in Germany. I definitely have a strong entrepreneurial background and have been in business in one form or another all my life, starting at a very young age. The internet has helped me open up a number of businesses.

Did you have much experience as a photographer?

If I thought I could make it rich taking photos, I would have gone into this profession a long time ago. But really, photography has always just been a hobby.

How did you choose Brazil as your destination?

Learning how to surf was, believe it or not, a real stepping stone in my life. About four years ago, I learned how to surf behind an artificial wave put up by a wakeboarding boat. I really got into the sport and wanted to carry my surfing aspirations into the ocean. I narrowed my choices down to Australia and Brazil. A 15-minute phone call to Hans Keeling of Nexus Surf convinced me that Florianopolis, Brazil would be the perfect place for me to go.

[Editor: Some of you might recall that Hans, a recovered ex-lawyer, is a case study in The 4-Hour Workweek]

How did the calendar idea come about?

Arriving in Florianopolis in January of 2008, I was amazed by the sheer quantity of beautiful women — they were everywhere! I’d always had this dream of photographing models, so it was a perfect opportunity to make that dream come true.  I coined the calendar name “Girls of Brazil” and so the adventure began. Then I just needed to find the models.


Photo: Jeremiah Thompson

So, how and where did you find the models?

The first model really set everything into motion.

I was hanging out with Hans Keeling (the owner of Nexus Surf) at Praia Mole Beach, when we passed a super sexy woman working at a fresco paddle rental stand. I had already mentioned my swimsuit calendar idea to Hans, and he happens to speak perfect Portuguese. I asked him if he would help me talk to her and pitch the idea. At this point, I had no product or business cards — just a pair of board shorts, my camera, and some photos of wildlife I had taken in Montana. But that was all I needed. It worked. She agreed to meet me the next day! She was even going to hitchhike to my house at 5:00 AM! I convinced her to let me pick her up, and we shot the next day from 5:30 AM till 8:30 PM. It was a great start to my project.


Photo: Jeremiah Thompson

After that, I found most of the girls on my own, speaking to them in very basic (if not completely broken) Portuguese. I was able to find girls almost everywhere – at the beaches, clubs, supermarkets, walking down the street, and even online. It was too easy. Once I had a few great shots under my belt, I was able to show these same photos to other girls, and most wanted to participate just to get their own pictures taken.

Were they professional models?

The girls were, for the most part, your everyday gals. I did shoot one girl who was actually an international model. I found her while I was driving down the street. I jumped out of my car, chased after her, and asked if she wanted to participate. You would think someone like that would laugh at me, but she ended up making the photos:


Photo: Jeremiah Thompson

Quite a few of the models had experience as event girls. I had the best luck finding those girls online.

But my best photos came from the girls with no professional experience. They always came to the shoots with the most energy. Their openness allowed me more freedom to infuse my own ideas into the photo shoot. This definitely made things more fun, and the results were always great.

Did you pay them for the shoots?

During the first year, I never paid any of the models. By the second year, I started paying a little. I had been dating one of the models and she helped me realize that many of the girls were actually using their own money just to prepare for the photos. They were paying to get their hair done, manicures/pedicures, new bikinis, etc. It was expensive. I started paying them 500 Brazilian reais, which amounted to approximately $250 US dollars. And because I shot many of the girls multiple times, it was a very small price to pay. However, I’m convinced that even if I didn’t pay anything, I would have just as much success or possibly even more. The girls, especially in the first year, really got excited about the opportunity, even though there was no money involved.

Critics might say you were taking advantage of them. What would you say to that?

One of the cool things about this project is the success they’ve had using my photos afterward.

Four of the girls went on to pose for Playboy Brasil. One of the girls got hired on as a dancer for the top television show in Brazil on Sunday afternoons. Many got modeling jobs. And they’ve all appreciated the opportunity, so that’s one of the best things about doing this.

Furthermore, it is not as if I was making money myself. The first few years of this project were big losses. Frankly I couldn’t afford to pay the girls to participate. This was a project I started more out of my desire to be a swimsuit photographer than to make another dollar. The girls loved the project and the photos. Many participated in multiple years. There weren’t any victims here.


Photo: Jeremiah Thompson

For those who’ve dreamed about being a swimsuit photographer but have never had the chance, can you describe the atmosphere of a shoot?

The atmosphere is definitely one of the best things. It starts when the girls come to my house. I need to see them in their bikinis before we head out so I can prepare for the shoot. In the first year, all of the girls used their own bikinis and that worked great 90% of the time. But I started buying bikinis for the girls in year two. So the first step was always to pick out the best bikinis. We would usually find 2-4 bikinis that we would take to the shoot. After that, we either walked to a nearby local beach or took my car to a more private beach.

Usually, we would arrive before sunrise. This meant the girls had been up since 2:30 AM preparing! I typically rolled out of bed around 5:00 AM. Not an easy thing to do, but when the moment comes and those first rays of light hit a beautiful girl in a tiny bikini, it’s worth it.

Posing the girls was always the most difficult part. I wanted to bring out the best in each girl. I would put them through as many poses as possible, mentally noting how they looked best. Then when the best lighting conditions occurred, I would get the girls into what I already knew would be their best pose. This system worked great.

After the shoots, the first question from the girls was always: ”When will the photos be ready?”

They were thrilled to have shots for their portfolio that would otherwise have cost them at least a week’s pay.

Were there any methods you used to produce better results (i.e. humor to loosen up the model, etc.)?

I enjoyed bringing out the genuine smiles of each girl.

Most model photos always have that super serious look, which is supposed to be sexy. I don’t know if I’m different in this regard, but I always enjoy seeing a girl’s smile more. So for half the photos, I would get the girls smiling their biggest smiles possible, and the other half I would let them revert to that serious but “sexy” look you see in all the magazines. Getting the girls to smile was easy: I would just say “mais sexo!” For two years I thought that phrase meant “sexier!” but I guess it really means “more sex!” So it usually made the girls laugh before going into an even sexier pose. That’s how I discovered the girls’ natural smile and how great it looked in the photos.

What have been some of the more memorable moments from your shoots?

I’ve shot something like 30-40 girls now, and there are so many memories with each girl.

Fernanda was my first model and she will always be one of the best memories of this project. Actually, the first photo I took of her is, to this day, one of the best I have ever taken:


Photo: Jeremiah Thompson

Then there was Iris, who showed up an hour and a half late to our shoot. We jumped in my car and she changed into her bikini as I sped off. When we arrived at the beach, I quickly put her into a pose, and we made this photo [below] in about 10 minutes. It was not a minute too soon, as the sun set right after.


Photo: Jeremiah Thompson

When I think about how much preparation goes into a Sports Illustrated shoot and compare it to some of the photos I’ve taken, I’m amazed by the results I’ve had as a one-man operation. It really is a credit to the beauty of these girls and the environment I am working with down in Brazil.

Last but not least, there’s Dayana. 

She and I ended up getting married, so how could I not mention this as one of my best memories?!  We were really connected right from the beginning. It was a goal of mine to find a woman like Dayana to marry, so having this dream come true as a result of this project was incredible, to say the least.


Photo: Jeremiah Thompson

What sales channels have you used for distribution of the calendar?

I’ve never had the opportunity of getting into the main calendar distribution channels, due to my lateness of releasing the calendars.  I learned afterward that most calendars get released almost a year before the calendar year.

That meant the calendar had been shot as early as two years before. Since I was doing this more for fun than to make money, I decided to release the calendars as close to the calendar year as possible. The models were happy with this, as they didn’t have to wait two years to see their photos debut.  It wasn’t smart business on my part, but again, I wasn’t doing the project to make the most money.

Having said that, we’ve enjoyed being one of the top calendars through Amazon for a couple of years now. We’re giving “Sports Illustrated” a run for their money (at least with Amazon) and I feel a great amount of pride seeing that and knowing how small my operation is compared to them.

Have you done any unique promotions to get the word out?

In 2009, we sent 20,000 calendars to troops in Iraq and Afghanistan. In 2010, we sent approximately 3,000 (I was working with a bigger personal budget in 2009 than in 2010). I hope to get these numbers back up in future years if I stay involved in the project. I always get troop requests and have a list of soldiers who have already requested their copies for 2011. It feels great helping these guys out. Hopefully seeing the beautiful girls on their walls keeps them motivated to stay strong and finish out their missions safe.

What’s the “Girls of Brazil” contest you mentioned to me?

The idea behind the contest is to give someone the chance to live the dream of being a swimsuit photographer. There really is no better place than Brazil for this.

I’d help the lucky winner of this contest along with each step. First, we’ll recruit the girls and find the models he’ll be shooting. Then I’ll give him my camera equipment and teach him how to photograph the girls. The winner will be shooting the girls on his own, but I’ll be around if he needs my help. And afterward, we’ll celebrate the results “Brazilian style”!

The contest doesn’t exist yet, but I’m hoping to get sponsored by a magazine who can feature it. It would make a great story and fill several issues of their magazine with content guys will love.

That sounds like a once-in-a-lifetime experience. If a magazine doesn’t pick up the contest, perhaps we can make it happen :)

So, how did his calendars turn out? Take a look at Girls of Brazil website or visit Amazon.  If you want a taste of his photos on Facebook, here’s your fix.

Question of the Day (QOD): If you’re happily married, how did you meet your husband or wife, and do you think someone could engineer the same? Share in the comments!

###

Odds and Ends: Blogging Lessons and New Stickers

This post produced a lot of strong responses. Please see my comments below in orange, as well as Jeremiah’s. Related to that, here are a few guidelines I follow while blogging:

Blog Lesson 1 – Please Everyone to Interest No One

If this post put your knickers in a twist, before leaving a snarky comment, realize this: when everyone is your customer, no one is your customer. This is true in business and writing. Bloggers often make the mistake of trying to generalize every post to every person. This is slow suicide and results in plain vanilla posts that offend no one and interest roughly the same. Expect that blog to disappear within two years, whether from reader attrition or blogger boredom.

I prefer to write posts that strongly appeal to at least a portion of my readers, and simply rotate to hit different demographics/psychographics with different posts. If I perfectly hit the nail on the head by educating (or entertaining) 20% of my readership, and they share it with their friends, does it matter if I lose 2-5%? Not in my experience. From what I’ve seen, this is precisely how you build an uberstrong community comprised of readers who actually speak their minds and show an unusual degree of tolerance (by Internet standards, at least).

If you’d like to read the female perspective on the mating and marrying game, here’s another post on this very same blog.

Blog Lesson 2- Strategic Redating of Posts

Some of you have asked, where did the last two posts go? The posts on GetGlue stickers and book promotion parties?

Here’s the answer: I redated them in WordPress so they wouldn’t appear on the homepage. Once time-dependent promotional posts have been up for 48-72 hours, and my core audience has seen them, I redate them, as these posts aren’t valuable to new visitors. There’s only one chance to make a first impression, so I always want strong stand-alone content to dominate my blog homepage. I’d used redating in this fashion for more than two years. Some bloggers go so far as to ensure one of their most popular posts is always displayed first on the homepage, followed then by their most recent.

Hope that explains things.

Eat drink and be merry. Happy Thanksgiving!

New Stickers – The 4-Hour Body

The 4-Hour Body is almost exactly three weeks away, which means a new sticker from GetGlue! This one is of reader, Nathan. To learn how to get it (and all the others) for free, read this:

Posted on: November 25, 2010.

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392 comments on “How to Become a Model Photographer in Brazil

  1. Hahahahaha, this is absolutely amazing.

    As part of OneWorld Award ticket, I was thinking of tacking on a trip to Spain next fall.

    After reading this (and Charlie’s latest post), I’m seriously reconsidering heading to Buenos Aires or Rio instead.

    This blog never ceases to amaze me.

    -Steve

    Like

  2. Brazilian girls are super sexy. It is really nice to hear his story on how he got started! It doesn’t sound like something I’d personally want to pursue, the whole chasing down women and waking up at 5am thing. But I can see that being a dream for a lot of people! And congratulations on him for marrying a beautiful brazilian model!

    Like

    • great blog post. I totally agree with Johnny. Just last week I have been to Buenos Aires for the 1st time and I also noticed the huge quantity of beautiful brazilian women. But Argentinians are not bad either ;)

      Like

  3. Tim, love the post. The only Brazilian girls I know are the ones who do Brazilian Jujitsu…in general, not the most attractive (yet I’m waiting to be proven wrong). I’ve always had a thing for darker women. Is that your ideal type too? No blond bombshell? :)

    Aaron

    Like

    • He had an idea that he wanted to accomplish, he went for it and he made it happen. Funny how people who are clear on what they want and then go for it, seem to be so much “luckier” than those who just sit around and call them lucky. ;-)

      Like

    • To all the people that think luck has a lot to do with this, I have to say, no. A person’s willingness to break away from the everyday gridlock is key. I’ve been to over 60 countries around the World, on a budget of less that $20,000, because I decided that I wanted to experience life differently and I took advantage of all of the many ways to make that happen. Along the way I have also taken pictures of many many beautiful women. Step 1: Buy a DSLR camera. I’ll read the rest in your book :)

      Like

  4. Tim,

    I love pretty much anything you post, and this one was no exception. I have been following your advice for some time now, and have self published my first book and am shooting to have book two out by March of 2011.

    Your blog has been an inspiration and very educational. I have started my own blog, although it is geared far more towards entertainment than yours which is tyically enlightening your readers in some way.

    It is always cool to see someone take an idea and run with it. I am hoping I can follow in Jeremiah’s footsteps and accomplishmy goals as he did.

    Thanks and keep up the good work.

    Darren Michaels
    Author of Flipside Erotica: Both SIdes of the Story
    Independent Publisher Award Winner 2010

    Like

  5. This was a great story! You can tell just through Jeremiah’s answers that he is happy and full of life. I’m sure having beautiful Brazilian’s around you for a job wouldn’t hurt, either.
    However, I feel that modelling isn’t an easy job. He makes it sound so easy and pleasurable. I wonder if there’s tough times? Times when he’s frustrated? I’ve been involved in a photo shoot and I did not enjoy it one bit….

    Like

  6. An inspiring story… living a dream.

    I’m sitting here with a silly grin on my face not because of scantily clad girls rolling around on a beach but because I had a revelation on the bus… FINALLY got an idea for a muse. I am not a business type at all and I have been stuck on this stage for months. Been despairing a little bit too.

    I am so happy today! Thanks Tim. I know you’ve moved on to four-hour erections and cat vomit but I’m still focused on the FHWW! I cannot express how much it’s helped me to have someone set out ideas that I hadn’t quite formed on my own.

    Best of luck for your book launch. I will buy it once it’s stocked in Singapore. It’s the least I can do.

    Still smiling here… even though I’m at work.

    Like

  7. As a 24yr old, single, handsome and charming man…..I think I’m going to go ahead and book my ticket to Brazil ASAPTUALLY. Haha in all seriousness, this is a great post. I will be heading out to travel the world within they year. I’m absolutely looking forward to getting into some trouble while making some money.

    These ladies have me “Speaking in tongues” LOL

    Like

  8. love the post, I think this is a real inspirational post to go and pursuit what you want and what you dream. Personally I would love to live on the beach [Playa del Carmen, México] but at the moment I’m working on my E for elimination… and hope I soon get to the Liberation part done!

    Thanks Tim.

    Like

  9. Tim: It would be interesting to know what percentage of your core readers are single or married…

    Question for Jeremiah: What was the most successful method you used to promote your product that generated sales on Amazon (specifically through Amazon)?

    Keep up the good work,
    Cheers!

    Like

  10. This is a great story. I love how Jeremiah took his passion for learning how to surf and his hobby as a photographer and essentially created a new chapter in his life.

    Congrats not only on your success but also on marrying a Brazilian bikini model!

    Like

  11. I’m sure the guys on this list will LOVE all the photos :-). This is NOT one post I’ll send my young teen boys to.

    But it’s a great story. Way to make his dream life happen in two years time. Very cool.

    Like

  12. Tim / Jeremiah –

    So I take it you can find Brazilian girls in Argentina… Will these Brazilian girls know English and/or Spanish?

    I am getting fluent in Spanish, but not a lick in Portuguese.

    Like

    • Hey Ryan,

      I’ve heard that since those two countries are so close together you will find both in either country. They are so close in fact that there is a new language emerging which is a cross between Portuguese and Spanish! I don’t think they will know a lot of English-only the well-to-do seem to attend schools that teach English whereby one becomes fluent. In my experience, Good luck in your quest to learn Spanish! Just remember, Portuguese sounds nothing like Spanish.

      Alberto

      Like

    • Hi,

      some will, some wont, some will scratch a few words. Spanish is quite similar to Portuguese, except for a few words, and if you are coming to southern Brazil, they will try to understand you in Spanish. Otherwise, make friends with someone here (I’m in southern Brazil) the people is usually friendly and open, and will be glad to sit on a table, drink something and maybe “chase tails” with you.

      Everyone. It’s summer in Brazil. Come here and enjoy!

      Like

  13. Yet another irresistible post title.

    Recently subscribed with another address via email, btw (because “subscribers are smart and hot”)–but received no notice of this post. (Yes I hit the link in the auto-email and saw the “confirmed” window, twice now.)

    Might want to glitch-check your signup routine before launch day.

    As for the wife–still shopping…

    Like

    • I had a problem recently, too.

      I have been a subscriber for a few years and noticed I wasn’t using the email account I’d subscribed with any longer. So I re-subscribed with my primary account, but wasn’t getting the email notices.

      I actually got back on the site after seeing a number of tweets about Tim and saw I hadn’t gotten any recent posts since re-subscribing.

      Went through it a second time and it is finally working.

      Like

    • I’ve had trouble with a couple posts.

      They didn’t come up on Google Reader.

      I think they were: Feces on the bloodstream and The New Book.

      Got your last post alright.

      Like

  14. Nice pics :) Really good post – it’s always great to hear how somebody had the balls to follow their dreams. Once you get past the initial fear of actually trying something, you almost always come out ahead.

    Like

  15. Just thought you should know, it’s very easy to modify the WordPress Loop to exclude posts from a certain category on your homepage. This would probably be easier than changing the dates on posts which must surely knock everything out of sync?

    If you need pointing in the right direction, feel free to drop me an email.

    Like

  16. Looks like comments work on 4 hour blog…only it points to fourhourworkweek.com!

    Brazilian retreats is where ya wanna go for the wife hunting! Ask the yoga instructor to point you to the locals;-))) I’m thinking of Kimberly Johnson who leads ‘em over there…look her up, man.

    Like

  17. This is my effort to win the public thanks. Let’s hope it works.

    Besides, I haven’t read your post yet, but checked out each photo more than three times. I will give it one more round when I will read the post.

    Like

  18. Tim,

    I noticed you adapted my advertising submission for your new books online marketing campaign, but I got no mention or thank you. Seems a bit ungrateful don’t you think? I mean, I’m no expert in manners or anything, but when a man does you a service, in the very least one should direct him a thank you, no?

    J.P.

    Like

    • Hi JP,

      I’m not sure which ad is yours, but we’re just testing the finalists, exactly as planned in the post! This is to determine who the winner is. The reason you’re only seeing a few ads pop up is that we’re limiting ads displayed to single IP addresses.

      Hope that helps!

      Tim

      Like

  19. Great post and fair play to Jeremiah for living his dream. I’m definitely adding “mais sexo” to my vocabulary of random foreign phrases for use on my girlfriend. :D

    Like

  20. Wow, how eerie.

    I’m happily married, and it’s in part because of your book, Tim. A year ago, I was working in management in the pharmaceutical industry in America. Now, I live in Denmark with my new husband (learning how to be a PHOTOGRAPHER no less!).

    I took a leap of faith because of your book, and couldn’t be happier.

    We met on a vacation with all of the time I had saved up from my old job, and I just fell in love with both him and the country. We spent a year and a half (From September 08 to February 10), living in two different countries, working long hours, a global economic crisis, increased fears, saving up money, overcoming bureaucratic obstacles, and going through not one, but two weddings so I could legally emigrate to Denmark. Using tips from 4HWW made the transition immensely easier, and living here I feel more relaxed and more confident with myself than I ever did in the states.

    Even though I wouldn’t move to Brazil I’d love the opportunity to talk shop on Photography with Jeremiah, as I’m currently building up my portfolio.

    Like

    • Congratulations, S Leigh! Your comment totally made my day :)

      Denmark’s amazing, in the summer especially. My great-grandparents were Danish, and I’ve spent some time over yonder.

      Thanks again so much for posting,

      Tim

      Like

    • S Leigh Schmidt,
      I’m not sure if you will receive this comment but I thought I would give it a try. I am also a photographer and plan on eventually emigrating to Denmark. I am really interested in learning more about the culture and the photo biz over there. ie;, How difficult is it to find a commercial job or do free-lance work with a language barrier? How much opportunity is there over there? I’m somewhat nervous of taking a giant leap but still intend on making the plunge on being a fashion and travel photographer. I’m also interested in singing opera there as well. (I have several degrees in both photography and music). I would really just like to pick apart your brain if it’s possible.

      Like

  21. For everyone considering a trip to Florianópolis to chase girls: pack now and go!!!

    I’m a Brazilian living in São Paulo who spent lots of time travelling this area. You won’t believe somewhere like this actually exists.

    Some tips:
    – Avoid travelling in January (too crowded) and July (too cold)
    – Look for accomodation near surf spots, even if you don’t surf.
    – Go for the local girls. They are the most beuatiful and friendly ones you’ll ever meet.
    – The best approach: look for beautiful girls leaving or arriving at the beach and, without hitting on them (for now!!!) just be friendly, say you don’t know the area and is looking for good places to eat/have a drink/go out etc. One of two things will happen: you’ll either find places where those girls go (which is already nice!) or, even better, they will say where they are going and ask you to go with them. It never fails (and if it does for some reason, there are tons of girls that will motivate you to keep trying!!!)

    Like

  22. Hi Tim!

    when do you come to GERMANY-we need You here, cause we work our ass of and don´t get more reward for this…please teach us to do better with our time/money! ;-) I will set up some public speaking meetings for you!

    Kind Regards

    Carmen
    by the way, in euorpe the gilrs are also nice ;-)

    Like

  23. This post made me a little uncomfortable. The case study was actually very good – and I think that Jeremiah deserves accolades for making his dream come true – but what makes me more uncomfortable is the context building around it – like ooh, ogle Brazilian girls – and the dehumanizing language around that. Tim, lots and lots of women read your book and your blog as well – please keep that in mind. I would hate to think that this is really your perspective about women.

    Like

  24. As a brazillian, I must say:

    Really, the girls here don’t even know how hot they look. They just think they are normal. And this is why they will be so friendly if you come to talk to them or ask them to make a photo shoot.

    I think it’s really interesting to post something like that. We brazillians need to start learning how to draw some attention to our qualities, instead of our defects. In general, brazillians are good, beautiful people, but terrible marketers when it comes to selling our image worldwide.

    Congratulations for this post! Very nice to see you are living a dream and happily married to a brazillian hottie!

    Like

    • Alan,

      I am brazilian too.

      I agree with a lot of what you said.

      Just to let our friends from other countries know:

      Not all brazilian girls are that hot.

      Florianópolis is like a paradise when it comes to girls, but if you go to other parts of the country you might not find that many gorgeous gals.

      Like

  25. Lisa, I was wondering if I was the only person thinking that. I was also uncomfortable with how much he got from these models. If this was design, people would be decrying the ‘spec’ work.

    FAIL.

    Like

    • Well, yes – I do think it’s unethical to photograph models like that (who are probably in a more delicate financial situation than the photographer) without paying them – but at least he corrected that pretty quickly, it seems like. I have nothing against modeling in general, and I know that many beautiful Brazilian women have done really well for themselves through modeling. However, it’s also rife with exploitation.

      Like

      • Hi,

        I just wanted to follow up on some of the comments who said I may have taken advantage of these women.

        I don’t really blame anyone for feeling that way from just reading this story and gaining a small insight into this project. But I wanted the chance to explain myself and in particular on this point of not paying the girls who participated.

        The girls made the photos because they could see I was a talented photographer with a genuine desire. They saw it as a great opportunity to build their portfolios. All the participants wanted to be photographed or obviously they would not have participated. At times I would shoot photos of them specifically just for them to use for building their portfolios. They used these photos to gain various opportunities and I am very happy to have been a part of that. Furthermore, it is not as if I was making money myself. The first few years of this project were big losses. Frankly I couldn’t afford to pay the girls to participate. This was a project I started more for my desire to be a swimsuit photographer than to make another dollar. The girls loved the project and the photos. Many participated in multiple years. So I really don’t think there were any victims here. Sorry if the photos of beautiful women offend anyone but let’s face it, guys really like this sort of stuff :)

        Like

  26. I’m happily married. Here’s how we met.

    Half way through college in the rural midwest, I decided to go live in central Mexico for a year and a half. I was renting a room from an older widowed woman with a 3-bedroom house. Eventually 2 women from a university in London doing a 6-month study abroad rented the other room. One was from a small town in Portugal. After initially really butting heads, she and I started hitting it off and ‘dated’ for the last few months she was there. She went back to London; I eventually went back to the States. Over the next 5 years, we stayed in touch and made some trips to see each other (and the world). Finally we said what the hell. She quit her job and moved to where I was in San Francisco for the 6 months her visa allowed. Then I proposed, she said yes, and we got married the same day on a bluff overlooking the Pacific Ocean with a few friends as witnesses. We’ve been married 7 years, and now have a 3 yr old son and 1 yr old daughter.

    Could this be engineered? Maybe not — never thought I’d go to Mexico to meet my future Portuguese wife. I guess I’d just say that you have to do interesting things to meet interesting people.

    Like

    • Andrew,

      Love your story! Gives hope to all of us who are still looking for that interesting someone. Makes me think I need to do something out of my comfort zone.

      Tim & Jeremiah,
      Great post. Not everyone will agree but then you can’t please all of the people all of the time! A great example of following your dreams and making them a reality.

      Like

    • Andrew,

      Great story. Gives hope to all of us still looking for the interesting someone and makes me realise he may not be right on my doorstep!!

      Tim & Jeremiah,
      Great post. As is always true in life, one can’t please all the people all of the time. What I took from this post is that dreams can come true if we are willing to do something to make them a reality. The vehicle of the story may rub some people up the wrong way but then they’re missing the point. There will be always be people who will never go blind from looking on the bright side of life!! Again, thanks for another interesting post and good luck with the book.

      Like

    • Hi Christine,

      Please see Jeremiah’s comment on this (in the comments), as well as Stefan’s. It wasn’t just that Jeremiah didn’t pay them in the beginning — he couldn’t! No budget.

      Hope that helps somehow,

      Tim

      Like

    • Most people looking to get into modeling have to pay a professional photographer hundreds of dollars to have head and body shots made.

      He was doing it for free, for girls that were not already models. Only one was actually already a paid model, and she chose to do it anyway.

      They all left with better quality shots than most modeling photographers would have provided them, and they didn’t even have to pay a dime.

      It’s amassing how just a tweak in thinking can completely change the perspective on a situation.

      Plus, later….when they were legitimate models (because of the shots he gave them….that launched most of their careers)…(and he had the money to do so)…he did start paying them.

      (or at least that’s how I read it:)

      Like

    • Hi Lisa, Hayden and Christine,

      As a Brazilian and a women, I applaude Jeremiah work!
      Only you three are not happy with this article. Uncomfortable??? Why????
      This is a great story of success!
      People work for free in any bussiness. Have you ever heard of internship?
      Secondly, you don’t understand brazilian culture! Being sexy and beautiful isn’t looked down upon! Everyone uses tiny bikinis and we always love to look beautiful! In fact, we love beauty in every aspect…we will get mad if our soccer team wins without playing beautifully!
      Good lucky on your bussiness Jeremiah!
      Love your blog Tim!!!

      Like

      • Thank you Vanessa. I was shaking my head at some of the female comments until I came across your post. Not only are Brazilian woman more beautiful, but they dont fly off the handle the moment someone nears their oh-so-sensitive comfort zone. Thank you Vanessa for not only defending this great business success story, but demonstrating that there are reasonable women in the world.

        Like

    • I just want to say…why doesn’t anyone see that the photographers time is worth something also. No to mention the cost of building a real good portfolio can be very very expensive. I’m a photgrapher and every model I run into nowadays expects to get free shots, just because they think there hot, and because there are so many photographers out there offering them for free. You can never exploit some who agrees to do anything from there own free will. No one held a gun to there heads and it look like they really enjoyed it, seeing these beautiful smiles! I think what offends people commenting on this the most is that they can’t understand how 1. beautiful women can be so nice and 2. They haven’t turned into what American women have completely gold digging or fame digging for everything. Guys the really warm naturally hot women live over seas end of story. There are hardly any women in the US that are natural anymore. They are all pumped full of silicone and eat very poor diets and it shows.

      Like

  27. Great Post!

    I’m happily married now, and here’s my story:

    Two things were happening in my life when I first started my Journey,

    First, I was really bad at talking to women, and was without a girlfriend for a long time, and second, I was working at a job that sucked my time and forced me to be in front of a computer most of the day and not have time to go out and have a real social life.

    I hit rock bottom when a girl I liked at work basically treated me like dirt and broke my heart and that’s when I decided to change my life.

    Since I was in front of the computer most of the day anyway, I started fooling around with online dating.

    At first, I sucked at that as well, but I was willing to try and fail so I can learn and improve.

    It was basically a chance for me to build up my confidence with women and get over my personal inhibitions and the online part allowed me to do it in a “safer” environment so rejections didn’t hurt that much

    After about 6 months of trial and error I figured out ways to overcome most of my inhibitions and then the fun began…

    The most important thing I think I did was to actually write down what kind of girl I’m looking for and break down the qualities into something that was almost quantifiable (I’m a geek, what can i say…) in terms of looks, personality, and other qualities that were important to me (e.g. how close is she to her family etc….)

    I actually had a spreadsheet with those qualities and I used it to understand how the girls I was meeting would measure up as long term partners.

    When I got really good at online dating, I was going out with 10 girls a week, all really high quality in terms of what I was looking for. That sounds like fun, but it’s really hard if you want to maintain a relationship with any of them…

    I also had some fun experiences dating models (not Brazilian, but still…:), a TV celebrity, and a ton of really great women.

    My wife was one of those really special girls who just made me fall in love with her and that’s how we met.

    I obviously told her this story already, and while she would have probably liked to have a “princess romance” story, she’s still really happy to be with me and is aware that movie romances are usually only in movies and the geek rarely gets the girl if he just stays a geek.

    p.s. in case you were wondering, my wife used to be a cheerleader, was in a national beauty contest and today had 2 doctorate degrees. I love her very much…

    Like

  28. Great story to read, but I gotta say kind of a misleading title. There was nothing in here about “how to marry a Brazilian Model”, it was how to photograph Brazilian Models. The main character just ended up marrying one and the topic of him marrying her was mentioned in only one paragraph.

    Not that it is that big of a deal, but you have had some stuff one here about dating (how you automated your dating life), so I figured it was going to be more along those lines and was interested to read something about that.

    There was also no indication that this guy was “Wife Hunting” when he was down in Brazil. He was just talking about how he was photographing, not his tactics in acquiring a girl.

    Misleading title to get more page views, I think so!!! But hey, it worked.

    Like

  29. How fabulously relevant (irony in case anyone in bozo mode fails to realise whilst ogling).

    Dear god, get over yourselves.

    There’s a place for everything people…

    Like

  30. Hi Tim, I’ve been subscribed to your blog for ages, and loved this post.

    For your QOD:

    I met my husband while working as a pole dancer. He never goes out to clubs, he’d been out just to celebrate something, I ran across the road to that club on a short break; We’re both ridiculously enthusiastic dancers (backflips?) – And he saw past the fact that I spent my nights half naked – I was actually working there for 3 weeks to get rent and tuition money (I know that’s such a typical line – but the pay is amazing, and I was dirt poor and trying to make ends meet after a bad break up)

    Considering how conservative he is, I have no idea how he didn’t run for the hills when I told him – I don’t think many guys would be comfortable with such a thought.

    I am however still the butt of all stripper jokes.

    Like

    • @roksy…..I recently watched “I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell”….. not the most politically corect film, but made me laugh just the same.

      My favorite part in the whole film is when the stripper and the pissed off at life guy start a relationship. It makes you look at the whole idea of a strippers life in a different context.

      I’m married with 3 kids, and personally don’t like strip clubs much, mostly because I have two daughters:)

      The last time I went to a strip club (was told it was a 5 star restaurant w/ burlesque entertainment…..which was a bit of a stretch:), my friend and i spent more time talking to the girls and learning their history, and I can honestly say that some were simply messed up, but a few were simply funding their future dreams and looked forward to when they wouldn’t have to do it anymore (but they did admit that the money was so good that it would be difficult to quit:)

      I’ve definitely learned in life, not to make snap judgments of others, and it sounds like your husband knows this fact as well.

      Great story!

      Like

  31. I’m definitely one of those 20% who this post is really for. (Not that I haven’t bought multiple copies of both your books, and read your entire blog) but I’ve always though that Brazilian women are the most beautiful in the world.

    I had a long way to go when I found this blog and started restructuring my life and habits to get what I want / need out of life. Amazing case studies like these help keep me energized and working towards following these dreams. Although I don’t plan on marrying a Brazilian model, the underlying theme is the same.

    Thanks again Tim!

    Like

  32. As a woman who reads your blog, I find this post incredibly irritating. Not only is it dehumanizing, but it chips away at the credibility of the rest of your “life hacks.” Maybe you should write your next hack on how, by pursuing a career in banking, women can find a rich husband! Seriously though, the rest of your content is awesome – this is just shallow and degrading.

    PS – “Where they professional models?” should be “were”

    Like

    • Hi LB,

      Thanks for the comment and typo catch. Please see my response to Coco.

      To your point, and a common response, I actually don’t think a post on how to find a (financially) successful husband would be a bad post at all.

      The problem isn’t with seeking out a “successful” husband or beautiful wife — that’s the way it’s been for eons, and that’s how it will continue to be — it’s seeking out those qualities to the exclusion of other qualities, which Jeremiah did not do. Many women have told me, at least after the honesty that follows a few drinks, that they couldn’t marry someone who wasn’t successful at what he did. Finance is usually a component of this, and these are not shallow women.

      Believe me, I might change the hardwiring in men and women if I could, but I don’t expect I can.

      Hope that all helps somehow,

      Tim

      Like

      • Tim,

        This blog post does what you do best: throw light on some really interesting and offbeat paths. However, I have to call you out on a point you make here.

        You mention “hardwiring” in your reply. That was a shocker given that
        1) You are, at least partly by degree :) and especially so by interest, a neuroscientist. More on this later in the comment
        2) You rightfully take pride in questing assumptions and identifying bad science
        3) For the most part, the choices you make in your language are fairly precise. You mention that you are an applied linguist.

        Now to explain why the “hardwiring”, thrown at us by nativists and semi-nativists like Pinker, is scientifically unsound might fill a whole book. This is a topic I am deeply interested in and have done a fairly extensive study. But I am summarize a few points which I believe you will readily acknowledge.

        Decisions people make, like women choosing to mate with successful men, are fairly complex. They’re based on neural ensembles (we could call them neural circuits for simplicity, but to be accurate…), in turn on synaptic connections. There’s a big emotional component too, with connections to amygdala and other brain parts responsible for the emotions in animal brains.However, there’s is absolutely no evidence, that I can track, or any scientist (I have looked at many) can quote regarding synaptic connections being pre-determined at birth-the equivalent of ‘hard-wiring’, behavior genetics and much of evolutionary psychology in popular terminology.

        Now, to the other side, neuroplasticity. Lots of recent research in neuroplasticity, and there’re plenty of books on the topic, have shown just how plastic the brain is and what might help or hinder the process. Under the right conditions, drastic and mind-blowing neuroplastic changes (both neural ensembles and neurotransmitter levels) are possible even in adults. Now there’s an equally powerful force, which goes by the name ‘plasticity paradox’, that makes you want to follow the path you have already taken. This is similar to tracks on a snow slope and the mechanism behind the 80/20 rule (which we both love :)). The tracks, in the brain’s case neural ensembles, that have been used in the past, tend to be preferred to building new neural ensembles. This gives people the illusion that something is fixed when in reality it’s not. We just need to dig deeper.

        This is already turning out to be a huge comment, but one last quick point on statistical studies, including twin and adoption studies. Both you and I love Taleb and he points out repeatedly how statisticians can be blinded. There’s plenty of material, which can be found by a book search on Amazon or a google search, which points out methodological flaws in the twin and adoption studies. A few include selection bias, omitted variables, reification,… I will spare your readers a few yawns if I can. :)

        We do not know everything about the brain, but people tend to be lazy, oversimplify and in the process ignore the new findings that could possibly give millions of people a kick in the butt. The extra motivation you get from knowing that your effort makes a monumental difference to who you become is immense. Carol Dweck, of the growth mindset, has some great research on this. My personal experiences bow to the power of the growth mindset.

        Now why did I take the time to type this out? Tim, you have been a huge inspiration to me. From giving courage to quit a bad job in 8 days (without another one in hand in a downturn economy) to rapid skill acquisition (I am going to contact you on this one, there’s some cool stuff brewing) to putting on 15 lbs of muscle in 10 workouts (I know it’s kind of small, but I don’t have muscle memory and was getting used to the new workout style). And there’s a lot more exciting stuff a few months down the pike.

        Please feel free to not publish the comment if you think it’s way too long, but I really hope you had the chance to read it.

        Thanks,
        Gaju

        Like

      • Wow… thanks, Gaju! That’s one hell of a thoughtful comment. Needless to say, probably makes more sense to grab coffee to talk over this stuff, but I agree with almost all of it, if not all of it. I think I just need to define “hardwiring” a bit more clearly :)

        Happy holidays,

        Tim

        Like

      • Hardwiring? really? Could you have meant “culturally reinforced”? However, Tim, these social values are probably derived from culture and nature, an overlapping of multiple complex structures. To suggest that this is simply about “biology” is disingenuous. You really believe that individuals are puppets, controlled by some invisible, genetic string? What about individual values, culture and choices…All strings? You know to dig deeper than that, come on Tim, you’re a life examiner.

        {head-shaking with confusion}

        I don’t think that you are chauvinistic or malicious, it just doesn’t feel like your message to me. In all due respect, it feels a little like a guy trying to convince other guys that he’s in the club. I’ve never seen this point of view. There’s no real Hero in this story. Even though he got married, it still left a residue that’s hard to remove. I finished the story feeling wounded, not refreshed. I understand I don’t know you personally but I thought I understood your message. Do you understand why I would feel this way?

        I think everyone has said almost everything that could possibly be said about this post on all sides. I’m sure there were posts that were so offensive to your sensibilities that you could not even post them. I hope this isn’t one of them : )

        You’re still an awesomely talented guy.

        Please reflect.

        Best,

        S.C.

        Like

      • Tim and Gaju –

        This may not be the best news for Gaju, but Tim is right. Don’t ditch the word ‘hard-wiring’ so quickly.

        We all have a reptilian brain – we all have animal tendencies that’s part of our genetics (but these tendencies and like a whole world of DIFFERENCE for men and women) that are in us from 2 million years ago.

        Hard-wiring is simply a simple word to use to describe it.

        To prove my point – go and ask ANY man when was the last time he feared for his safety. And then go and ask ANY woman who feared for her safety (or life) I bet you Tim Ferriss’s buns that you will get entirely different answers.

        As someone who write about and sells programs on relationships, the differences between men and women, and masculinity/femininity, I can say that Men and women ARE completely different. The layers of brain and our spirit-centred selves was built on TOP of the reptilian brain, so our animal brain is still there, and that is the kind of thing I believe Tim is referring to. The animal tendencies are, however, different for men and women.

        And to Seila C – the “culturally reinforced’ notion you mention is actually more fitting for the way you are approaching the situation. THAT is culturally reinforced. There’s this myth that men and women are the same, somehow, and the gender lines are unfortunately more and more blurred in today’s western world.

        As Tim said somewhere else in this comments thread – The equality situation causes just as much problems as it fixes.

        I hope that all came out in a logical way, I don’t feel like it did but I think I made all the points I wanted to make, anyway.

        Like

  33. [Tim note: this is from a female reader]

    What nice big boobs and butts! Good for him he married a pair, eh?

    I’m going with what Lisa said but with more force, discomfort and less uncertainty about the prevailing attitude towards women. Straight doods aren’t, or weren’t, your only audience Tim.

    Like

    • Hi Coco,

      Thanks for the comment. I realize this. Please see some of the comments from women who took this article differently, though. Also, Jeremiah and I never said that beauty was the end-all. He found an incredible woman with the other characteristics he was looking for. That gives a lot of hope to those — male and female — who have all but given up hope in the dating game.

      Hope you can see that side of the story as well.

      Best,

      Tim

      Like

    • Don’t worry about him. I’ve come to realize that people like this think they can justify ANYTHING they say or do, effectively (to them) blocking out the other side of the conversation. Has Tim ever admitted a true mistake, one which he didn’t play off as a “learning experience” or some other such bull? No, because people with his background don’t need or have to come face to face with the problems they create. This may be the true meaning of a “life hack”.

      I’m sure the millions of donated books make up for the unerring female objectification I see in this and any other article of yours involving women who aren’t your business colleagues. Outsourcing dating was one of my favorite “women as commodities” pieces. How courageous of you, to restate what men have been saying about women for thousands of years. “A man can and will do anything to get women, just like a dog”: This is what men are saying (oh, I’m sure you don’t mean it that way…) with their smirking justifications.

      And good job on the stripper who met her husband at a club. I’m sure his jabs at you are just his way of showing you respect after all these years, right? THESE are your future female fans, Tim. Only broken women would put up with this trash.

      In short, I’m glad Jeremiah got to follow his exotic dream to a destination known for prostitution, where it would be easier to let his dick lead him to success. More power to you, I’m happy you paid them eventually and allowed them to avoid the flesh trade. Sort of. Shows some humanity. Tim, on the other hand, is apparently only a numbers man in respect to “his” women, as shown by his disgusting add-on letting any pissed off readers know before they post that to him, they don’t count a lick. Like all similarly base “men”, good to know you’ve still got your NPD blinders on.

      Like

      • Sorry you feel that way, Izziezenna. I have plenty of female friends — including very well-educated, platonic friends — and not one has accused me of being a misogynist or anything like it. I wouldn’t consider them “broken women” in the least. Some of them are the absolute best in the world at what they do.

        I don’t surround myself with weak women. That’s for even weaker men. But… do I like to look at attractive women? Absolutely. That’s part of being a male.

        Tim

        Like

      • This comment is absurd. You assume these women had no other options other than prostitution? You assume the photographer took advantage of them by giving them headshots to use for the future which, here in the U.S., can cost >$1000 a piece? Of course I would not really expect you to know that.

        I take offense to this as one of my best friends in the world came to the U.S. on the back of a modeling career where she was discovered on the streets in a 2nd world country. She was not paid for the first shoot. However, the photographer mentored her, submitted her photos, and provided her with the jump board to immigrate to the U.S. and pursue her dreams.

        Oh and by the way, she is currently attending an Ivy League institution and will be heading to law school to work in the entertainment law in the future.

        This view in the United States that it is somehow “de-humanizing” to celebrate the HUMAN body is just downright stupid. But, I guess this is what happens when the nation suffers an obesity rate in excess of 30%.

        Tim> I loved this article.
        Jeremiah> Good for you to pursue your dreams and finding an excellent wife.

        Like

      • I can appreciate your opinion about the content of this article, but, I’m not sure why you added: “people with his background don’t need or have to come face to face with the problems they create.”

        The statement seems unfounded to me. Anyone who’s started their own business from nothing and who’s written a book has, without question, had to face self-created problems and engage in MANY uncomfortable conversations that are the direct result of their own actions.

        Sure, much of 4HWW is about redirection of time-consuming, irrelevant interruption… but that, I think, is completely different from avoiding conflicts–which is what you seem to suggest Tim does (Am I misreading?).

        Also, you start your post by saying “people like this think they can justify ANYTHING they say or do, effectively (to them) blocking out the other side of the conversation.”

        If that were true, then why would he have posted your comment?

        Just my thoughts. Thanks.

        Like

      • @Former Reader – what’s most offensive to me as a Brazilian is to read comments such as yours, i.e. from someone who has obviously never been to Brazil or maybe even read anything remotely serious about it. Yes, there’s prostitution here, but also in Amsterdam, New York, Berlin etc. Never heard of Florianópolis being a “destination known for prostitution” though. Ever. You probably read something about child prostitution in Natal or something, which is about the same distance from Florianópolis as Charleston is from Las Vegas, just to give you an idea, not to speak of the economic difference. Sex tourism, however, is done mainly by Europeans from Italy, Spain, France, for example. You would do us all a favor if you actually travelled a little bit and/or informed yourself a little better before posting things like that. And, as Jeremiah and Tim have correctly said, give Brazilian women some credit. Not as many girls as you apparently think would do anything for money or to marry a foreigner. It’s hard to generalize, but I can say that many of my friends, for instance, don’t care at all for foreigners. Brazilian guys have also their own charm, I can say that from experience…As if these girls would ever go into the “flesh trade”…give me a break! Ever heard of Gisele Bündchen? For someone with such strong opinions about the topic, I’m shocked at your absolute lack of information and your easy labels, such as “exotic” and “destination known for prostitution”. Then again, maybe that’s exactly why your opinions are so strong….

        Sorry for the long comment, Tim, but it just rubbed me the wrong way. Keep up the great posts! :)

        Like

  34. You have got to be kidding me! Are you trying to weed out all intelligent women from your fan base? I find this offensive and insensitive. I’ve recommended you to friends and colleagues for a long time. That ends with your backing of this disrespectful ridiculous article.

    Like

    • I have to agree with Ellen and Lisa on this one Tim.

      Offensive, sexist and objectifying women.

      There is so much more to a woman that what her body and face look like.

      Its degrading. I thought you had more class.

      Like

    • Apparently he is in effect only weeding out the unintelligent. Men are inherently seek out certain characteristics in a woman. One of these things happens to be appearance. What this post is demonstrating is that Jeremiah has killed two birds with one stone; first, by developing a successful business; secondly, by meeting his wife. Nowhere in this post does it say he married her entirely for her looks. People are going to get involved only with people they are attracted to. That is how things start. Over time, if they have the other more important things one is looking for: personality, intelligence, values, whatever else you are looking for, than the relationship moves forward.

      The fact is that none of that becomes possible without attraction. Oprah and friends can perpetuate these notions of “objectifying woman” and clearly its working with you. However, these concepts fly in the face of human nature and rest only on the unstable pillars of political correctness.

      Take a step back and look at this objectively before you judge; otherwise, Tim is certainly not losing an intelligent reader.

      Like

  35. I met my wife Jena, my dream woman, when I was teaching a salsa class at Burning Man, 2007. She strolled up to me and we had several amazing dances together.

    I had been studying salsa for about 11 years, and teaching as a serious hobby for about 6, so I had definitely paid my dues by that point to be in a position at the front of the crowd teaching at a huge party.

    I don’t think I would have had a fraction of the chance of meeting her had I been some random guy at a random party. There’s a reason she walked up to *me* to dance with me–I was in front of the crowd teaching.

    The takeaway, for both single men and women, is that it pays to *organize* events where you come into contact with lots of singles. If you have to pay your dues for many years to get good enough at something to be leading/teaching the room, fine. But you can even start organizing creative social or networking events now, without years of “paying dues.” When you’re at the head of the crowd, or leading it, you meet a lot more people than anyone else at the party–and you are more attractive to others in the room, as you’re up there, leading confidently. Worked for me! :-)

    Like

  36. Hey tim and jeremiah,
    If you’d like people for the contest, I would literally fly to brazil to meet jeremiah and get his advice on being a swimsuit photographer, I’ve wanted to be a swimsuit photographer since I was 13, I’ve got my own equipment, have done some fashion photography in the states, and actually thought of a way to raise money for educational charities with swimsuit photos about two weeks ago.

    I’m 23 years old and have been living on a 4hww type muse for a two and a half years now and was already intending to go someplace warm this winter, this sounds way better than anything I could have planned on my own. It would be awesome to be a part of this, and can absolutely send you guys some portfolio pictures if you think I’ve got a shot.

    Thanks,
    Sean

    Like

  37. Re: Question of the Day (QOD): If you’re happily married, how did you meet your husband or wife, and do you think someone could engineer the same? Share in the comments!

    1st, brave article, brave question thank you!

    2nd, Along parallel lines of thinking “when everyone is your customer, no one is your customer” is exactly how I met my wife. I was divorced 11 years ago after 22 years and 4 children. Prior to that I was a marriage & family counselor(another story). Anyway I took my own advice and went through a small divorce recovery program. In that program we were given a book that gave 3 pieces of advice.

    1) Only look for a perspective mate within the natural course of your life’s journey. (ie) Work, recreation, hobby’s, etc,
    2) Make a list of the 10 things that you want in a mate. We were instructed to be painfully honest with ourselves so that we could finally be honest with others. Most in our group felt this was to harsh, impossible, etc. Our recovery mentor explained, yes it can seem tough and that very few people have the courage to do it (1 in 5-7) and he was right, 3 of 15 of us did it.
    3) Stop looking and trust in your list. That is what I did, whole heartedly.
    About 3 months later I met my current wife. I truly wasn’t looking! We’ve been together 8 years, married 21/2 and it has been incredible! To be open and honest, the only thing that didn’t match on my list was hair color

    To this day, when my friends ask me what’s your secret? I share these same three principals over and over. They work! In fact it’s easy to tell who made and followed their list, and who didn’t. Tim, thanks for the invitation to share. I think your work is brave and incredibly useful.
    Michael Clement, Host “Living Right for Your Type Radio” on BTR

    Like

    • Michael,

      Thank you so much for this comment! For point #2, the list, can you give me an example (not necessarily yours, if that’s too personal) of what a list might look like as prescribed? Why were so many people uncomfortable doing it?

      Best,

      Tim

      Like

      • Tim,

        I too made a list after my first marriage failed after being encouraged to do so by my counselor. She asked me “What qualities have you always wanted in a wife? What have you pictured in your mind?”

        My list;

        1. Down to earth..not materialistic.
        2. Enjoys having friends over and even stopping by unannounced.
        3. Pretty in a “plain, no make-up sort of way”, girl next door.
        4. Someone with the same values and goals in life. VERY IMPORTANT.
        5. Enjoys sex frequently (these are listed in no particular order or this would have been number 1!)
        6. Reasonably athletic.
        7. Honest
        8. Has the same interests…travel etc.

        As I was dating women my counselor would have me pull out the list and compare it to them. If they didn’t compare to the list it helped me keep the relationships on a more casual basis.

        I was in the Denver airport with my 9 year old daughter and this woman caught my eye. She then ends up sitting behind us with her 7 year old son. We exchanged a few words and when we got to Houston I thought “I will never see this woman again unless I introduce myself”.. so I did, then called her 2 days later. We ended up having friends in common and probably crossed paths closely without ever meeting. We dated several years then got married. We have been happily married for 13 years. Have had very few conflicts, have more fun every year in every way. The kids clicked and wanted us to get married before we did!

        One more bit of advice….after my first divorce many of both our friends said that they would not have picked the first wife and I for each other. Therefore I gave close friends, family and even my counselor “veto power” on the next wife I chose because they know me the best and I did not want to go through that kind of pain again but more importantly cause that kind of pain to a child. They all voted YES on Kelley and most mentioned that it must be slim pickings out there for good men since she said yes to you! …..I hope they were kidding!

        Good luck and take care,

        Brent

        Like

      • Sure Tim, thank you for the opportunity to respond.

        The list usually starts out quite raw and then takes on some refinements within a relatively short period time like a week or so.

        Here are some primers – the key is honesty with ones self: (some are from my own list)
        1) Hair Color and eye color, even skin tone.
        2) Body Type – be honest about what will grab your attention day in & day out.
        3) Height (ie) I’m 5″.7″ tall. I want a women 5′ to 5’3″
        4) Financial status – Dependant, Independent, Interdependent
        5) Children no children (age)
        6) Shared interests (ie) In my case Snowboarding, Harley riding, travel
        7) Physical Condition
        8) Intelligent? Ambitious? Simple?
        9) Personality type – Doer, Talker, Pacer, Thinker? Fast paced & out-spoken or cautious & reflective? Questioning & skeptical or Accepting and warm?
        10) High, medium or low appetite for sex?

        Any one reading this, should keep in mind that this is in know way, shape or form, about finding the the perfect specimen of a human being. This is about being honest with ourselves about what we truly want in mate.

        The way it typically works is we settle for someone (a typically fear based decision) and over the course of a couple of years we try to change them to fit our list. Oh yes, everyone has a list whether they realize or not. When we are finally honest with ourselves, ie; (this person isn’t what I really wanted and trying change them to fit my list isn’t working – damage already done) we say “you know, this isn’t working for me.” And then we repeat the same process with someone else hoping for different results.

        Most people are uncomfortable about making the list, and they say it’s because it feels harsh. I think it’s much more harsh to try and change a person to fit our list. I never shared my list with anyone, that would also be harsh. I just made it, stuck in a file, and every time I met someone that I felt attracted to, I went home, took it out, and compared them to my list and shared with them appropriately.

        The list for those who want to avoid hurting others and being hurt. In this way you demonstrate care, equally for yourself and the other human being.

        Again, thank you! Michael Clement

        Like

      • Hey Tim, I’ve been following this blog all the way through, amazing! I’m starting a new series on my Inet radio show today: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/livingrightforyourtype
        The Topic? Well, you could of guessed it!

        Relationship Problems? Let’s DiSCover the issues! Part 1:
        Understanding you. Does your relationship feel more like a parent/child relationship than a spouse to spouse, husband to wife, boyfriend to girlfriend? Could it be characterized by a system of rewards and criticisms? Most people confuse symptoms with issues, then put band aids on the problem. Join me on this 5 part journey, as I combine my DiSC training and experience with my marriage and family counseling training and experience. With your help it could get exciting! 877 257-6526 or click on chat now.

        If you feel it “appropriate” please pass along. Thanks!
        Michael

        Like

  38. Inspiring post indeed. Heading to South America in 2 weeks for my first mini-retirement thanks to you Tim.

    How did you find Chris as a potential candidate to be your assistant? I’m interested to know how one can apply/interview/beg to become one of your PAs.

    Thanks!

    Like

  39. Just figured I’d add this, but I met a really awesome brazilian girl on a pub crawl in amsterdam this summer, and the two days I ran around with her were pretty much the highlight of that whole trip. They are absolutely amazing people, totally chilled out and fun to be around.

    Becoming a swimsuit photographer and running around with brazilian girls all the time was pretty much the dreamline goal I didn’t think would be able to pull off, so I didn’t write it down. If you’re having a contest, I would absolutely love to be a part of it.

    Like

  40. Hahaha, great post. Good word to photo content too. ^_^
    Thanks Tim, you open up a lot for people to live out their dreams.

    I came back from a mini-retirement in China where I met my girlfriend. It wasn’t anything I was chasing after and fell out organically which is great. I guess I say it as a cautionary tale, since it is not so much about hunting a partner, but more taking a step back and finding out what really works for you, after that, everything else, including a partner, should fall in place.

    ~~hope that makes sense.*

    Like

  41. Awesome post. Another female perspective — There’s nothing unethical about giving beautiful girls an opportunity to showcase their beauty, and open up doors of opportunity that may have otherwise gone unopened. Perhaps its the girl’s beauty that is making some of the females uncomfortable? For me, it’s inspiration to Brazilian my arse up :-). Will the 4 hour Body will have some tips on how to do that? I’ll be happy to be a case study. The before/after shots surely would help sell the book, from flat to fantastic :-).

    Like

    • Hi Amyah,

      Thanks for the comment. To address your question about working on your posterior, yes, that is addressed in the book ;)

      Also, to those who are offended, I thought I’d reiterate a comment from Jeremiah:

      “I just wanted to follow up on some of the comments who said I may have taken advantage of these women.

      I don’t really blame anyone for feeling that way from just reading this story and gaining a small insight into this project. But I wanted the chance to explain myself and in particular on this point of not paying the girls who participated.

      The girls made the photos because they could see I was a talented photographer with a genuine desire. They saw it as a great opportunity to build their portfolios. All the participants wanted to be photographed or obviously they would not have participated. At times I would shoot photos of them specifically just for them to use for building their portfolios. They used these photos to gain various opportunities and I am very happy to have been a part of that. Furthermore, it is not as if I was making money myself. The first few years of this project were big losses. Frankly I couldn’t afford to pay the girls to participate. This was a project I started more for my desire to be a swimsuit photographer than to make another dollar. The girls loved the project and the photos. Many participated in multiple years. So I really don’t think there were any victims here.”

      Like

      • What Jeremiah says in his response is very fair – and I understand where he’s coming from. It is certainly true that he is providing a service by photographing them and allowing them to use the photos for their modeling portfolios. That is not, however, the context presented in the original post. It’s more about – as I said before – objectifying women and talking about the process in a way that was somewhat dehumanizing. There was also no mention of the fact that many aspiring models in developing countries are taken advantage of – surely this must have been a consideration.

        Anyway – I’m not insulted by the pictures of beautiful women and I am not surprised by the fact that guys like to look at pictures of said women. This isn’t my issue at all. Also – I should also add – many women also like to look at pictures of beautiful women!

        The point of my original reply was that the tone and the context building is misogynistic. I simply asked you, Tim to remember that a lot of women read your blog – and to consider that. Anyhoo. Happy day-after-Thanksgiving!

        Like

  42. This guy is a total creepshow:

    “The atmosphere is definitely one of the best things. It starts when the girls come to my house. I need to see them in their bikinis before we head out so I can prepare for the shoot”

    “Sometimes, if I enjoyed the shoot, I would invite the girl back to my house so we could look at the photos together on my computer.”

    Like

  43. I think the intro is a little misleading — “from Montana,” “no training.” He was born in Montana but had been “all over the place” as a military kid. He had been en entrepreneur his whole life. He was a serious amateur photographer. So world traveler, savvy businessman/risk taker, and skilled photographer. Oh, and he spoke some Portuguese already. What other training would someone need for this kind of project?

    I think the unfortunate issue with this kind of intro is it makes it sound like anyone can do anything without any preparation. This guy had been preparing his whole life. It just took figuring out where to focus that experience to get him to Brazil. (Oh — and a really useful contact on site in Brazil.)

    I’ve had some pretty amazing adventures in my life, too, but it takes work. I’ve always liked your blog because it is not about the unready getting lucky; it’s about being ready for anything and then learning how to focus that for specific things. It encourages the “ever-ready” lifestyle. It should not hint that, with no work and no preparation, a person can walk into any situation he or she can imagine.

    Like

    • I like your point, and tend to agree. Success isn’t over night and all about luck… it’s the consequence of continue actions and preparations towards your major life goals. You can speed it up or slow it down depending on how many hours your are willing to put into it every day!

      Like

  44. I kind of love how totally un-PC this post is,…that you did it on Thanksgiving when everyone was posting all about gratitude,…and that you are so bravely staying outside of the box and true to the evolving Tim in your blog. Also quite entertaining to follow the comments crashing and the sheer number of men who now think you are an utter-genius :-) The women might be a little stunned,….but I am sure that could be easily rectified by a male calendar interview or two. Love watching this interesting bridge between your four hour work week niche to the new one,…..and your words about not trying to please everyone. Happy Thanksgiving everybody! Here is to all of us living our dreams whatever they might be :-) (P.S. his next business could be,…”so you got a four hour body and now you want to come to Brazil and get photographed like a hot Brazilian model (man or woman) in order to spice things up with your lover”,…..maybe this could be the next eco-tourism niche :-)).

    Like

  45. God I hate this guy (in the nicest way possible though ha ha ha)

    One thing this post has made me do is hurry the heck up with my business so I can automate my money and head straight to Brazil ;)

    Like

  46. Although Jeremiah’s resourcefulness on the lifestyle side is admirable, the economics of being a North American male working in South America (or Eastern Europe, or Southeast Asia, or much of Sub-Saharan Africa…) make marrying a beautiful foreign woman like shooting fish in a barrel.

    This kind of post demeans us all.

    Like

    • Having spent a lot of time in South America and other developing countries, I would say that marrying a beautiful foreign woman with other wife-worthy qualities is not as easy as you make it sound.

      Best,

      Tim

      Like

      • Why Tim WHY? Your blog (and books) are supposed to inspire my dreams not shoot them down.

        I’m joking of course. But your right. Women from other countries can see right trough us just as well as women from our own countries ha ha ha.

        P.S. Tim I cannot WAIT for your 4 hour body book. I’m paying almost £30 for the book and quick overseas delivery for it so I get it before Christmas. Cannot wait. Its the only thing I’ve ever bought where the delivery is more expensive than the book so that says something about how much I think of you and your work. (I also cant stop talking about virbrams to the point of angering people ha ha)

        Like

      • As a Colombian girl who is considered to be very attractive and has many “wife-worthy qualities,” I’m w/ you on this one Tim. For smart, caring people, it’s not easy to find a great partner under ANY circumstance, really, no matter where they are from.

        I’m personally highly allergic to foreigners who think that coming from a first world country alone puts them in front of the line. It’s a very ignorant mindset.

        Like

      • Thank you, Andrea. The first-world bias you described bugs the sh*t out of me, too. The idea that I can waltz wherever I want and have foreign girls have sex with me (or marry me, or whatever) for a green card is so insulting as to be unbelievable. Most who stereotype that way need to travel more.

        Thanks for the comment!

        Tim

        Like

      • Tim, have you ever been to Japan?

        So many beautiful Japanese girls dating foreign guys. And when you see the foreign guys, the first response is always “Why is she dating HIM??”

        I have friends who have stayed in Tokyo for years, because they had no luck with women back home, but in Japan, they can have their pick.

        They even have a name for it: Charisma Man (named after a very funny comic strip that describes the phenomenon: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charisma_Man).

        Like

    • Absurd. You wish to debunk the myth that women should be valued for something more than her looks, and then you go about promoting an ignorant view of non-Western women?

      I assure you, if every American man could find a model by going abroad, American females would have a tough time finding mates.

      Like

    • Absurd. You wish to debunk that women should be valued for something more than her looks, and then you go about promoting an ignorant view of non-Western women?

      I assure you, if every American man could find a model by going abroad, American females would have a tough time finding mates.

      Like

  47. Great post, funny cause yesterday I was talking with a friend about picking up girls in Brazil and he told me that it was hard because you find a lot of shemales in the streets

    Like

  48. Oi Tim! Obrigado pelo post das garotas gostosas Brasileiras! E parabens Jeremiah pelo casamento. Quero me-casar com uma tambem!

    Tchau,

    Alberto

    Like

  49. Hey Tim,

    Wanted to give you a heads-up on a typo, one of the questions above reads:

    “Where they professional models?”

    On a humorous note, when I read that, I read it in a Lil’ Jon-esque rapper voice. Very funny.

    – Pat

    Like

  50. This was fun story. It got me thinking: Jobs where you can meet attactive women.

    Swimsuit model photog.

    That is a no brainer.

    I always thought yoga instructor would be good too.

    Anyone else?

    Like

  51. I LOVE this post. I recently had a very similar idea. I’m an engineer and as a result see virtually no girls at work and I’m working many 16 hours days. It’s rather depressing, however, I’m well on my way to becoming one of the NR. Just working as an engineer to secure capital necessary for one of my several JV’s.

    To make a long story short. I’ve thought about putting together modeling portfolios for girls interested in starting modeling. I’d do it for free and in return hopefully promote my hobby business taking photos! I was going to use craigslist in my hometown which is home of University of Arizona and see where I can get.

    It’s really refreshing to see that this can actually work! Thanks for post!!!

    Like

  52. Hi Tim!!! Very interesting post!! I am living in Florianópolis for about 7 years, and have my point of view how did he got so easily the models to photograph.

    Here (all over BraSil) girl LOVE, realy LOVE to show up!! To be a model here is one of the coolest thing for a girl!! So she accept any chance to appear!! In a website, a calendar, outdoor, etc. even for free.

    And you friend have one more thing to play with: he is North America. People around here have a lot of consideration about American ( and I can say European) people. They thing everybody from other country has money I do great things (but of course some do and some don’t).

    Your friend is a great photographer I chose the perfect place to do that. Here is really a paradise, you know that!

    And what is better than photograph these girls!!!???

    Um abraço!

    Stéfan Adam

    Like

  53. Looks like a great article but how am I supposed to read it at work? Got about 15% done then the women started showing up on screen… have to wait for another opportunity to read it… just thought I’d share the first humorous situation in my day today.
    pete

    Like

  54. Love It.

    My Wife just turned me on to your blog. Awesome. Also I work in Iraq and have seen theses Calendars they are really good. I met my wife during a fire at work. While I am sure that the same type of meeting could be engineered I would not recommend it. I will say this if you are prepared for most things in advance you can make them look easy.

    Jason

    Like

  55. Hi Jeremiah,

    Great story. I met my wife in Brazil 12 years ago pursing a similar venture only supplying high fashion Brazilian bikinis on a global basis. Question. Does Dayana get jealous when you go on bikini photo sessions?

    Tim, looking forward to reading your next book.

    Like

    • She’s not jealous at all. In fact she is a big help with every part of the part of the project.

      I think the toughest thing for some people to understand is the difference in culture between Brazil and a country like the USA. Another of Tim’s readers, Stéfan Adam, pointed this out in his own comments.

      Brazilians are happy open people but also very conservative at the same time. Sure they wear the skimpiest bikinis in the world but they still don’t go nude and they have very high morals. These women are not easy! They are extremely classy. They are beautiful and they don’t mind flaunting that to a point.

      I’ve seen rich Americans, Europeans, Australians, and more strike out hundreds and hundreds of times in Brazil simply because they tried flaunting their money. Sure a few girls might go for this but the vast majority despise this kind of stuff. In that regard its just like any culture.

      For anyone labeling these women as victims, I don’t think they are giving these ladies enough credit.

      Like

      • Agreed 100%. If you’ve never lived in Brazil, aren’t Brazilian, or don’t know dozens of Brazilians, please don’t make make sweeping judgments about the girls in this post. Just silly.

        Like

      • I am extremely envious of Jeremiah Thompson and Thales. And Not just because of their profession or attractive companions.(only partially :P) They are in a beautiful place with wonderful people, pursuing their own business ventures their way. Isn’t that what lifestyle design is all about? To do things your way, at a place of your choosing, experiencing the life that you want with people you love. That is the dream.
        *your dream may differ*

        I congratulate Jeremiah Thompson,Thales, Stéfan Adam and the other people who are living in this beautiful place, living their dream. Well done!

        Send me a post card, would you ? :)

        Like

  56. Any time a post can combine beautiful (Brazilian) women with a lesson on blogging is a win in my books!

    Apart from the inspiring story of the photographer, I really like the lesson at the end, as well. I often try to be diverse in my subject matter, too, but maybe I’m too diverse and lack a core/focus at the heart of it all. Hopefully, I’ll discover that before it’s too late.

    Like

  57. Great article Tim. I’ve learned a lot from your posts because we do a lot of the same things, but I’ve noticed that you are much more effective than me. You’re helping me improve my results.

    Regarding the people who think he took advantage of the amateur models by not paying them initially, they might not realize that it is actually the standard practice. There is a huge investment of time and money by the photographer before, during, and after the shoot.

    If the models want the photos exclusively for their own personal use, than they pay the photographer and pay for all their own clothes, makeup, etc.

    If the photographer has rights to the photographs, than amateur models are usually are not paid, but get digital copies with limited rights to use and sometimes a few nice prints for free. Some of the models are trying to get into the industry and want the experience and the photographs for their portfolios. Others simply want to get nice photographs of themselves without having to pay for the photographer.

    When it works, it is a good trade for both parties. But sometimes the photographer ends up with images he cannot use because for various reasons including the inability to get the amateur models to pose properly. And sometimes the model doesn’t receive good (or any) images due to an unprofessional photographer.

    If he paid $250 to the amateur models, as well as provided digital images with limited rights to use, he actually was quite generous.

    Like

  58. Just a guess here, but I’m wagering the several female readers who took offense at this post, are middle class American women.

    I hate to break it to you ladies, but there are different views and attitudes towards such things in other places.

    My girlfriend is from Puerto Rico, and we have a great relationship.
    A friend of mine back in college tried to tell me, “start dating Latinas, and you will never go back.” I truly wish I had taken his advice much sooner. It looks like Jeremiah found the same thing. More power to him!

    Tim, keep the awesomeness coming!

    Like

  59. Just a response to some people saying the models were taken advantage of and obviously Jeremiah cleared this up, but what every happened to two people engaging in a mutual beneficial agreement? Not to be harsh, but did Jeremiah put a gun to these girls heads and say “pose for me or die!!!!”? Obviously these girls saw value in it. I know if I was a beautiful brazilian girl and some random American guy asked me if he could shoot photos of me in a bikini, I would put up a strong defense. If I didn’t see value out of it, I wouldn’t do it.

    And to use an analogy, think of it as an internship. Working as an internship that pays nothing can sometimes be 10 tens more valuable in the long run than a normal paying job in terms of connections you make, knowledge you learn, etc. These things are “wealth” that have far greater value that simple monetary dollar wealth you earn and then spend. So in essence, these girls were quite smart and probably knew what they were doing. Lets stop thinking of everyone as victims!!!

    Like

  60. Email notification for this post showed up at 7:42 (Pacific Time) this morning; will keep tabs on next one, maybe it’s fixed. There is however one remaining (and extremely serious) problem with this emailed post:

    No pictures.

    Like

  61. Hey Tim – so my 2 cents
    I think its great that Jeremiah followed a passion and succeeded, as well as found love in the process – that’s FANTASTIC for him.

    As an actress – living in Hollywood – the rest unfortunately is done here every day and the outcome is not always happy for the girls that fall prey to unethical people by jumping into the same type of situation – as I’m sure many Brazilian girls do as well.

    We all like to see what we perceive as beautiful – I just believe this did nothing but add to an ever growing warp in how we see/value each other when we are looking to form relationships – in Love or business.
    (I’m also speaking as single person in a very looks oriented town/industry)

    Also, I believe that when we choose to offer a service to others ie: act, blog, photograph, engage in business etc. we have an opportunity in this service to show others a wider perspective than is the current norm and the majority of the article sort of missed the mark for me.
    (Again just my 2 cents – not looking to convert the world – and I do appreciate your work Tim)

    Thanks for the opportunity to chime in :)

    Like

    • I think you are in the shallowest of all industries and for you to be commenting is hilarious. You sell your soul to do what you do in Hollywood. I lived there and I am very street smart and I saw the types of stuff going on daily. To be in that industry you have to have a total disrespect for yourself, hence the extraordinary amount of people on medication or self medicate in Hollywood.

      Like

  62. My long-time girfriend is Brazilian, and I consider myself to be the luckiest person alive—not because of where she comes from, mind you, but because of everything she is. Beautiful, funny, smart—but also serious, hard-working, and committed.

    The mysogynism inherent in swimsuit photography (and reflected somewhat in the tone of the article) aside, I find it sad that this post also perpetuates certain stereotypes about Brazilian culture. Imagine if Tim posted an article in which residents of the United States were portrayed as under-educated and, well, rather narrow-minded, i.e. the stereotype prevalent in many parts of the world. You get the idea. :)

    I realise, though, that you can’t please everyone. Indeed, this is part of Tim’s (or, rather, his brand’s) appeal.

    Allow me, however, to add my voice to that of some other commenters with a friendly reminder that male, heterosexual readers are not your only demographic, Tim. :)

    Cheers!

    (In case you’re wondering, I’m female.)

    Like

  63. So can we start an over/under on when these two get divorced. We know the stat is about 50% so its going to be either you or your wife. I kid, I kid…Nice job. Enjoy Miami Beach. I have been working here for quite some time now in marketing and events. Let me know if you need any help with the area.

    Like

  64. Thanks Tim for this post. I first read your book close to 2 years ago and it’s molded my thinking ever since. I moved, changed careers, and am in the process of automating all of my business life to working online “virtually” in order to travel worldwide on a regular basis.

    This story was inspirational, even if a blatant marketing headline to get guys to click on it.

    To be honest I may have still clicked on it if it read… “Husband hunting- How to marry a male Brazilian model” but would not have enjoyed the pictures as much:)

    So to all the disgruntled lady’s…. I feel your pain, but the author is a single guy…. so it kind of makes a little sense. (plus even most woman can agree that the female figure is more pleasant to the eye than the male figure:)

    Either way the story is about taking action on your dreams and going after what you really want in life… plain and simple.

    Like

    • No… actually, I prefer to look at a nice looking man than a female any day of the week… And I’m from Rio :)

      Would love to be known as a country of smart and hard working people than a bunch of good looking women with a few good soccer players….

      Like

  65. Another inspiring and fun article, Tim. Thanks so much.

    I have been very happily married for over 3 years and feel that the strategies outlined in Ron Louis and David Copeland’s book, How To Succeed With Women, were key to meeting, dating and finally marrying my wonderful wife. Come to think of it, only that book can rival FHWW for great advice and insight. They wrote the book by following around and interviewing men who were extremely successful at dating women. What they came up with is extremely affective. The contents of their book is not advice, they say in the introduction, it’s “technology.” I have long since given my copy away but a number of their tips have stuck with me which I have listed out below.

    Within the confines of your genes, make yourself as attractive as possible. That includes cleaning up your car, home, and/or apartment. They suggest cultivating a consistent “look” with clothing and putting some effort into it. They also note that one survey found that women consider a flat stomach to be the most attractive thing about a man so get to the gym which is also a potentially good place to meet prospective dates. (Slow carbs!)

    Now that you’re as attractive as possible, it’s time to go out there and meet people. Introducing oneself to prospective dates can be hard so you can reduce the stakes involved with any one introduction by flirting and introducing oneself to absolutely everyone. That means everyone, including the lunch lady in the cafeteria. It’s amazing what this practice can do to one’s confidence. The stakes involved with any one conversation are much lower when you have 10 of them a day. Will you still get the cold shoulder every now and then? Of course, but to paraphrase something they repeat in the book, “That’s one less person to worry about before finding Ms. Right.” Move on.

    They include some other tips for starting conversations like asking about the story behind a piece of jewelry or article of clothing. It all gets easier with practice. I liked the advice above regarding meeting people within the context of going about one’s normal routines and hobbies. That’s good. Some advice by Louis and Copeland regarding how to stay out of what they call the “friend zone” may be particularly useful there. Get labeled a “friend” in the mind of a potential date and it’s hard to get that person to view you romantically. They suggest touching the person’s hand, looking at her up and down, end up looking her in the eye and smiling. (something I could never build up the courage to do myself though I don’t doubt it’s effectiveness for a minute!.)

    Now that I’m thinking about it, I could go on and on. They have guidelines for appropriate topics for a first date and later dates. They describe how to handle the initial phone calls and voice mail messages — never get mad at not getting called back. Don’t even refer to it. Attractive people are busy and get lots of calls. The fastest way to go from a “maybe” to a “no” is to be insecure and upset. Also, never joke about to downplay your physical defects like thinning hair or a widening waistline. I’m telling you, the book is solid gold and well worth the time and money.

    I met my wife when she lived two doors down from me in the same apartment building in Philadelphia. It turned out that we had attended the same college in Boston and knew some of the same people. I credit HTSWW for giving me the confidence to introduce myself to her in the hallway and invaluable pointers to how to date and get to know her. The book will definitely increase the likelihood of such success to whoever applies its techniques.

    Full disclosure: I have no ties to the authors, publishers, etc. My only interest is a sincere sense of gratitude. Good luck!

    Like

  66. Hi Tim & Jeremiah,

    Great blog post, and a brilliant title once more got me to click over from facebook tout de suite.

    I have to go to Brazil now! Those girls are gorgeous!

    Jeremiah, I think you are an inspiration in the fact that you took action without waiting for a definite outcome to present itself. -You made stuff happen.

    It is obvious that what you were doing was intriguing (and ultimately beneficial) to the girls or they would not have modelled for you. And I am sure that they are happy to be friends, not necessarily concerned with money as it is not what you were after at the time.

    It sounds like the money dynamic wasn’t there at the time, and I would suspect that the results may have been quite different if it was.

    So I hope you don’t get put off by some of the comments you are getting here.

    Thanks,
    Chris

    Like